It definitely took a lot of courage to write this all down. I'm glad you got it all out.
I know trying to hide your pain won't help or heal it, and it will quite often seep out in your adult life. There's an old saying that as an adult we have to heal the child within. It's surprising how much trauma and upset we carry with us into adulthood.
I'm glad you are hanging in there. X
Yes and I accuse myself of growing adult, too much pain. I often wonder why my life became like that...