Hey lovely soul! I know all too well how you’re feeling inside. In my life I have had many traumatic experiences and many hardships and like you, I stuffed it all inside. The thing about stuffing it inside is that it always wants to come up and purify, but then again we’re not letting it. As a result we struggle with anxiety… anxiety is really all that junk that we stuffed inside that wants to come up and leave.
I’ve been struggling with depression many times in my life and kinda got a hang of it, but anxiety that appeared last year was a brand new thing for me. At first I threw some pills at it and got better, but once I stopped taking them, soon enough it came up again.
This time round I am determined to get to the root cause of it and of course, as you know the root cause are all those experiences that I lived through that I hold on to. Because not wanting to face them, we’re holding on to them. This time round I want to face them all. I’m giving them room to be and pass through me, so they’re no longer stuck and screaming for my attention.
So please, please don’t feel weird about being sad. It’s ok to be sad, angry, guilty, happy, joyous… all of those emotions are ok to feel. Just let them pass. In this journey I found Michael Singer. He has tonnes of podcasts on YouTube. Have a look and see if it aligns. His approach is so very simple, but it works.
Let’s do this together fren. It is possible to rise above all those things you’re describing. I know ALL of it you’re describing too well 💙
!LADY
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That's what I have been doing and that's what I do now as well. I feel stuck somewhere and cannot move even though I fight with myself every day to move. It's strange and sounds insane because no sane person thinks this way. My thoughts sometimes fascinate me, every time they are unique and come up with different forms. I needed professional help and that's why I never hesitate to take help when needed. I didn't care what people think about me but sometimes, I see myself as small in front of others.
I can understand you properly and I am sorry that you also had to go through all of these. I hope you are doing good. Thank you so much...
Doesn’t sound insane to me at all. I’ve had weekends when I went to bed on Thursday night and got up on Saturday morning. All day gone, slept 30 hours straight! I didn’t try to fight it either. Just had no will to do anything but sleep 😴
Thoughts are fascinating, but the shit they say sometimes is disturbing and makes us believe that it’s the truth, while it most definitely isn’t. I spent days and night so deeply in my thoughts that I barely realised anything around me.
Anyway… I’m happy that you are getting help. I’m seeing holistic practitioner too, cause things got out of hand and my body started reacting with allergies and various other health issues. I was running myself down, or rather my mind was doing it 😂
Thoughts are scattered and our brain makes them up when we are stressed mostly. Overthinking also causes delusional thoughts and imaginary images. My doctor said, my brain picks very specific images from different incidents and creates a whole new story and presents it. It is so vivid that it makes me believe that this is going to happen to me. For example, I was on the bus going to the hospital and somehow I imagined myself on a train and almost forgot where I was, what's the reality...
My treatment still didn't talk about holistic practitioners but they did suggest group talking sessions so that I feel comfortable and believe that there are people like me, and I am not alone...
I hope you are doing well now...