Introducción | Introduction
Greetings my friends readers of @motherhood, today I have sat down again to give love to my blog in @hive, although I have had too busy days for situations that I will share later, I am always thinking about what information to develop again to contribute to this dear community. These days I began to desperately investigate the reason for the behaviors of my girl Saori, and what we are currently living with her upbringing, last month she turned 3 years old, despite having many occupations we managed to hold a celebration with the family, and with the 3 years came the crisis that I recently met, when she turned 2 years old I read that they call it the terrible 2 years, but the 3 are a crisis, it is incredible that each stage of our children has an explanation and parents just have to document ourselves to not ignore this phase of upbringing so important. As far as I understood it starts a few months before turning 3, but when they reach that age it manifests itself in all its splendor, as is the opposition to everything that parents demand, refusing to obey and being stubborn in every way, so I want to tell you how I live each period.
Periodos | Periods
1.-Su personalidad: Leí en internet que una crisis de tres años son la aparición de negatividad y un mayor deseo de independencia, en el caso de nuestra niña, cuando empezó a tomar conciencia de quien era y el valor que tiene para la familia, empezó a afirmarse en ese poder que tiene sobre sus padres, abuelos y demás familia, siendo bastante enérgica y persistente en todo lo que desea, se opone al 95% de las cosas si no es de su interés, no quiere escuchar, y aun sabiendo que la acción que va a realizar no es lo correcto, lo hace porque quiere explorar y experimentar cómo funciona la decisión que ha tomado por sí misma, claro está que cada situación en la mayoría de los casos es irritantes porque solo la vemos como una niña desobediente. Pero al empezar a documentarme, siento que cada periodo puede mejorar.
1. Her personality:I read on the internet that a three year crisis are the appearance of negativity and a greater desire for independence, in our girl's case, when she started to become aware of who she was and the value she has for the family, she started to assert herself in that power she has over her parents, grandparents and other family, being quite energetic and persistent in everything she wants, she opposes 95% of things if it is not in her interest, she doesn't want to listen, and even knowing that the action she is going to take is not the right thing to do, she does it because she wants to explore and experience how the decision she has made for herself works, of course every situation in most cases is irritating because we only see her as a disobedient child. But as I start to document myself, I feel that every period can get better.
2.- Enojo de ambas partes: En este periodo ella intenta mostrar su poder y autoridad incluso imitando la manera en que la exhortamos, y se expresa como si los padres fuesen los equivocados y no ella, cuando puede ejercer su poder, y manipula aunque ella no saben lo que eso significa, trata de dominarnos. Como padres siempre queremos marcar las pautas en estos aspectos y es frustrante casi siempre no lograr que nuestros hijos obedezcan al menos un llamado de atención, y en ocasiones nos exasperamos y buscamos alguna forma de castigo , que desde mi punto de vista no está mal, siempre y cuando no se recurra a la violencia y esto marcara limites en el proceso de su personalidad y aprendizaje, claro que todo va a depender de la personalidad de cada niño, nuestra niña recurre de manera exagerada a la terquedad y es persistente mucho antes de cumplir los 2 años, ella es muy inteligente y siempre busca la manera de lograr sus objetivos sin importarle las limitaciones que le coloquemos, por lo que empecé a tomar medidas que me han funcionado y le comparto más adelante.
2.- Anger on both sides: In this period she tries to show her power and authority even imitating the way we exhort her, and expresses herself as if the parents were the wrong ones and not her, when she can exercise her power, and manipulates even though she does not know what that means, she tries to dominate us. As parents we always want to set the guidelines in these aspects and it is almost always frustrating not to get our children to obey at least a call for attention, and sometimes we get exasperated and look for some form of punishment, which from my point of view is not wrong, as long as we do not resort to violence and this will mark limits in the process of his personality and learning, Of course everything will depend on the personality of each child, our child resorts to stubbornness in an exaggerated way and is persistent long before she is 2 years old, she is very intelligent and always looks for ways to achieve her goals regardless of the limitations that we place on her, so I started to take measures that have worked for me and I will share them with you later.
3.-Terquedad: Cuando no obtiene lo que quiere empiezan los llantos y las pataletas que es muy común ver en estos casos, ellos explotan de furor y si añadimos nuestros gritos y desespero crean un conflicto bastante grande. A veces ignorar sus berrinches es una de las acciones que solemos utilizar, pero no en todos los casos, hay veces que tenemos que observarla en su berrinche, pero sin complacerla en sus oposiciones y otras veces sacarla del escenario donde se encuentra y moverla a otro lugar para que pueda drenar su enojo, por lo que es importante saber seleccionar que es tan importante como por ejemplo alimentarse de manera saludable, y lo que no es tan importante como querer consumir todas las golosinas.
3. Stubbornness: When she doesn't get what she wants, the crying and tantrums that are very common to see in these cases start, they explode with fury and if we add our screams and desperation they create quite a big conflict. Sometimes ignoring their tantrums is one of the actions we usually use, but not in all cases, there are times when we have to observe them in their tantrum, but without indulging them in their oppositions and other times take them out of the scenario where they are and move them to another place so they can drain their anger, so it is important to know how to select what is as important as for example eating healthy, and what is not as important as wanting to consume all the goodies.
4.-Limites: Sabemos que con el paso del tiempo nuestra niña va madurando y es necesario permitirle tomar algunas decisiones, para reafirme su personalidad y pueda desarrollarse de tal manera que conozca lo que es correcto y lo que no es, por lo que en ocasiones existen negociaciones entre sus decisiones sin embargo hay situaciones que no son negociables y debe existir el cumplimiento obligatorio porque no podemos ceder a todas sus peticiones, esto llevaría la balanza de la crianza a todo lo opuesto de un correcto desarrollo de personalidad convirtiéndolos en pequeños niños monarcas. Una de las acciones que he implementado para ponerle límites es sentarla en un lugar y no permitir que se levante de allí hasta que cumpla el tiempo de su castigo, así grite llore o patalee allí debe permanecer y saber que fue castigada y su autoridad no debe pasar por encima de sus padres. Luego que calma su frustración hay una conversación sobre el porqué de su castigo, y he visto resultados favorables, sin recurrir a conflictos mayores si podemos lograr dicha situación con firmeza podremos demostrarle que existen límites y se deben respetar.
4.-Limits: We know that with the passage of time our child is maturing and it is necessary to allow her to make some decisions, to reaffirm her personality and can develop in such a way that she knows what is right and what is not, so sometimes there are negotiations between their decisions are however there are situations that are not negotiable and there must be mandatory compliance because we can not give in to all their requests, this would lead to parenting balance to the opposite of a correct development of personality turning them into little monarch children. One of the actions I have implemented to set limits is to sit her in a place and not allow her to get up from there until the time of her punishment is over, even if she cries or kicks she must remain there and know that she was punished and her authority should not go over her parents' heads. After she calms her frustration there is a conversation about the reason for her punishment, and I have seen favorable results, without resorting to major conflicts if we can achieve this situation with firmness we can show her that there are limits and they must be respected.
5.-Emociones de madre: Mi hija es particular es bastante desafiante, al contarlo las personas piensan que exagero, pero basta estar un par de horas con ella para saberlo. En mi caso y sé que es el de muchas madres queremos explotar en llanto porque no sabemos muchas veces como manejar las situaciones y sentimos que todo se nos sale de control. Tenerlos las 24 horas del día y no poder tener un respiro de su intensidad es agotador, y de terror cuando las hormonas están a flor de piel, no obstante tener un par de horas sin verlos se asemeja a una eternidad, porque, aunque nos produzca caos a la vez nos produce paz, nos alimenta el alma y nos hace sentir fuertes. Y la buena noticia es que esta crisis con el transcurrir de los 3 años será diferente, o eso es lo que espero y quiero creer jajaja. Luego nos tocara conocer los periodos que se aproximan a los cuatros. Me despido con este último y muy valioso periodo, porque, aunque no sabemos si lo estamos haciendo del todo bien seguimos dando lo mejor de cada una, un abrazo mis hermosas mamis.
5.- Emotions of a mother: My daughter in particular is quite defiant, when I tell people that I exaggerate, but it is enough to spend a couple of hours with her to know it. In my case and I know it is the case of many mothers, we want to burst into tears because we often do not know how to handle situations and we feel that everything is out of control. Having them 24 hours a day and not being able to take a break from their intensity is exhausting, and terrifying when hormones are raging, however having a couple of hours without seeing them is like an eternity, because, although it produces chaos at the same time it produces peace, feeds our soul and makes us feel strong. And the good news is that this crisis with the passing of the 3 years will be different, or that is what I hope and want to believe hahaha. Then it will be our turn to know the periods approaching the fours. I say goodbye with this last and very valuable period, because, although we do not know if we are doing well we continue giving the best of each one, a hug my beautiful mommies.
