I used to spank my first and my second for a little while, but then my brother taught me the "Love and Logic" method. It changed my life and the life of my family. We still discipline, but it is with love and it is logical. My dad beat us when we messed up. He was very loving when we were good. It was a wide spectrum. When Child Protective Services investigated our family, he still beat us a little, but slowly moved from physical destruction to verbal destruction. He was an abusive man who loved his kids, but didn't know how to not abuse when we didn't please him. He was a coarse guy. I'm so thankful that I don't do the same to my kids. I teach them that they have decisions to make and that I can't make them for them. The only thing I can do is warn them of what their consequences may be and then enforce the consequences I'm able to enforce.
It has changed my world and I have not spanked in over a decade. My oldest is 16 and I have 5 kids...2 of which I have never spanked. I also don't have a hitting problem in my family. There's bound to be a correlation...people control their tempers in my family and it all starts with the right foundation.
Thank you for sharing Bob, it takes a lot of patience, and it was great to hear from a man that you don't spank your children. Most of the fathers I know have a little patience with their kids. You must probably have more time with them to build a good relationship, love, and support. They will surely treasure how you have become their father. They will not remember every detail of toys we buy them, but they will remember all the good times and laughter we share with our kids. Keep up ☕️