Motherhood is widely regarded as one of the most rewarding and life-changing experiences a woman can have. But no one tells you how it consumes you and devours the woman you once were. Cultural prejudices frequently undervalue the work of stay-at-home mothers, causing them to experience a particularly severe loss of identity.
People believe that stay-at-home mothers waste their lives. "What do you do all day?" they questioned. They see the laundry, cooking, and cleaning. They miss the true effort of parenting children, which is forming their personalities and creating a supportive environment. However, this stigma contributes to the hidden burden that many stay-at-home mothers bear. It's as if their efforts are undervalued since they aren't attached to a salary or a professional title. But the truth is that managing a family and raising children is a difficult job that demands intelligence, creativity, and perseverance.
Another myth is that stay-at-home mothers have an excessive amount of free time. This idea is false and dismisses the emotional labor associated with being the primary caregiver. Between driving kids to activities, assisting with homework, and attending to their emotional needs, there is frequently little time left for self-care or personal pursuits. The lack of planned breaks and external validation can make the role feel solitary and tedious.
Perhaps the most common misconception is that mothers who stay at home are dull and uninteresting. This oversimplification ignores the fact that many moms have interests, abilities, and goals in addition to caring for their children. These preconceptions can cause mothers to internalize feelings of inadequacy and reinforcing their belief that their value is primarily based on their role as parents.
For me, it has been important to develop a distinct identity from my children. While I like being a mother, I am also a person with skills, interests, and goals. This distinction does not decrease my affection for my children; rather, it strengthens my abilities to parent. When I cultivate my own growth and passions, I am better able to model a fulfilling life for my children. They understand that, while I am their mother, I am also a whole person with hopes and aspirations that extend beyond them.
I've seen a trend among mothers who name their social media profiles after their children or refer to themselves as "Danny's Mommy" or "Emma's Mom." Instead of an individual portrait, their avatars frequently show them with their children. While there is nothing wrong with this and it is purely a matter of personal preference, I have chosen a different path. As my internet identity, I choose to use my real name and a personal photo. This decision represents my conviction in having a sense of self apart from my duty as a mother.
This is not a rejection of motherhood or its importance but embracing our identities as women. Motherhood is part of my identity, but it does not define me completely. I'm also a artist, writer, and friend. I enjoy discovering new ideas, creating, and interacting with others. These aspects of my identity require just as much attention and care as the part of me that is a mother.
Maintaining this balance can be difficult, especially in a culture where mothers are frequently pressured to surrender their identities completely into their roles as caregivers. There is an implicit belief that good women sacrifice everything: their time, goals, and even their sense of self for their children. However, I feel that the best gift I can give my children is a complete and thriving version of myself, rather than a drained and resentful one.
Reclaiming your identity as a mother begins with small but important steps. It could be dedicating time each day to a hobby, journaling about your aspirations and goals, or connecting with a network of like-minded women who understand your situation. It's about giving yourself permission to live outside of your duty as a mother and enjoying your unique personality.
Motherhood is a journey of love, development, and sacrifice, but it does not have to mean abandoning yourself. Not only does appreciating our individuality enrich our own lives, but it also teaches our kids the value of self-worth and personal fulfillment. After all, we're more than just mothers. We are women with abilities, interests, and aspirations that deserve recognition.
That's it for now. If you read this far, thank you. I appreciate it so much! Kindly give me a follow if you like my content. I mostly write about making art, writing, life musings, and our mundane yet charming family life here in Klang Valley, Malaysia.
Note: All images used belong to me unless stated otherwise.
Thank you for visiting and reading my post. I hope you like it!
I totally agree with you, we are not just moms, we are more than this. ❤️
I know right? There is so much more to us than being mothers.
View or trade
LOHtokens.@coloringiship, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.
!LADY
View or trade
LOHtokens.@hive-124452, you successfully shared 0.0100 LOH with @coloringiship and you earned 0.0100 LOH as tips. (3/25 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.