Does motherhood really requires right and perfect age?
Since then, I've been asking myself about those questions, but honestly even now that I am already a mother of my own child, I still can't say that there is a perfect age for motherhood. I mean I can't specifically give an age for this huge responsibility of a woman.
Basically when I was just 15 year's old, I told myself that I wanna be a mother at the age of 25, so if ever God allow me to reach 50 years old, then my child is already 25 years old. In my childish thoughts with that age, for sure my child already have a stable job or maybe he/she has his/her own family as well. Then I'll be a grandma 😂. Isn't it that cute?
However as I am getting older, and with the observation I have made within my surroundings, my perspective in life suddenly changed. Most specially when I saw how my older brother struggled in raising his own family.
My brother had his first baby at the age of 25 without savings, and I was already 23 years old that time. Two more years then I'll turned 25 year's old, however I still don't have any savings, but luckily I'm still single. Lol.
So because I witnessed the difficulties of parenthood from my brother and sister-in-law, my plan change. I told my self that I should have a stable job and savings first before I dreamed about having a baby and a grandchild. I realized that this stage has a huge responsibility. I also have seen from my sister-in-law how difficult a motherhood can be, so I make an adjustment.😁
Eventually I reached 30 year's old, and 20 years more to go and I'll hit 50, but I still don't have a child. **Do you think I am I already late for motherhood? **
Well I have work, but it's not stable, the good thing is I already have savings. Yeah, I have some coins in my bank, Lol.
Furthermore I still didn't went back home to bear a child though I am already at my 30's because this time I become unsure about my emotions, and I felt that I am not mentally ready yet. It was because I started to enjoy my life being in a long distance relationship. I started to love working and earning and grinding. I fall in love with my independency and freedom.
Actually I wasn't expecting that motherhood will affect my freedom. Not until I become a mother.
So after 2 year's, I was already 32 year's old when I finally decided to go back to my country. I thought this time, I was already ready to enter marriage life. My desire to have my own child also went back after my partner and I bought our own house. I feel so excited to have my own family as I thought I was really ready. But only to find out, I was wrong. However I didn't regretted that I entered motherhood. Motherhood can be so tiring but it was the best experience a woman can ever experienced for the rest of her life.
Furthermore I get pregnant at the age of 32, and I gave birth one month before I turned 33 years old. Some say's I am already old to have my first pregnancy. They say's suppose I should have get pregnant when I was still at my 20's as being pregnant at 30's has lot's of struggles. Well that was true as I have experienced lots. However some say's I am already at the perfect time to become a mother.
Am I really at the perfect age for motherhood?
To tell you honestly, and this also base on my own experience, motherhood has no right and perfect age. Either you give birth at early or older age as long as you're not emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready, you will struggle. You will find things hard, complicated and difficult as motherhood needs a lot of adjustment and it has a huge responsibility to carry. It's not, a big NO, it's not as easy as we thought.
Motherhood will take away your Me time, your independency, your freedom as everything will goes around between you and your child. You can no longer say, oh I wanna go out today as I feel bored inside our home. I wanna hang out with my friends, as I miss them. You can no longer be available to them any time of the day as you already have a child who's very dependent on you. You already have a husband who needs your time and attention too. Things are so different and if you're not ready to make some adjustment, you will find motherhood a conflicts.
Anyway I am not saying, that you should not enter motherhood at any age that you wanted. What am I trying to say is you should be ready physically, emotionally, mentally and financially as you'll entering a huge responsibility in your life. Make sure that one's you entered motherhood, you shouldn't be a burden to your parents, you should make sure that both of you(your husband and you) are ready and mature enough to take the responsibility of parenthood.
It's not a game and it's not just a hot food that one's you get burnt you can spit it out. There's no turning back, one's you get inside.
Disclaimer;
All the information contained herein is intended for educational purposes only. This blog are also based on my own thoughts, opinions and experience as well. I don't have any intention to discourage nor to encourage any of my reader's to follow and believe with me. The choice is within you, as you have your own perspectives in life.
Thank you for reading
Photo was edited by me using Canva
Truth is that, things are changing with time. Before now, our parent hahe certain ages for marriage (19-22), it worked well for them, no doubt about that. But Introducing that now won't perfectly work because by that age, ladies are still "girls" in school struggling to cope and also enjoying freedom from family house. If we say 25-30 at this our era, it might work, it might not work too. Things are tough These days and a lot are to be considered before going into motherhood.
In my humble opinion, motherhood has no age, it should be entered when the person is ready in all wise
That was true my friend.. Sometimes things literally may vary and dependent on woman's ability and how ready a woman can be on entering motherhood.
After a woman is past the age of a minor and is in control of her physical, mental, emotional, and financial well-being, she can enter into motherhood if she wants. I think being 30 and above isn't old. It is a good age to have children as well. You just have to be equal to the task. As you said, it isn't child's play. Children are just a beautiful blessing.
Yeah exactly, thank you for your beautiful opinion my friend.
I guess the right age but not the perfect age shouldn't be younger than 18 for their body aren't matured enough and being 30s can cause complications. But anyway, as you have said, still they have to be mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready when entering motherhood. I was young back then, but I can only thank my strong will in survival that I'm still here for my child and family despite every struggles.
Yeah 30 isn't the right age as well as I have indeed experience lot's of struggles.
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It depends lng yan sis kasi 36 na nga ako nanganak ky bb kulot at mas madali pa kesa ky eldest ko na 23 ako non nanganak eh.
Motherhood does not have perfect age, as for me I became a mother at 25.. things are really tough having a child without financial stability but still we able to survive. There are couple who are financially stable yet they are not blessed to have kids.. sometimes what we plans will prevail, only time can tell ..when the timing is perfect, it will be given and when that happens you don't have any choice but to be a responsible mother.
I wonder if what's the perfect age but perhaps it depends on the individual. But must not be too young I guess :)