Yes. A very deep conversation.
Also because on many occasions we call love something that has more to do with the "perceived feeling of LACK of love" than the Love itself....
But in any case - there is an ancient wisdom in the reminder - "You cannot love anyone before you learn to love yourself."
Because before we love ourselves and accept all our aspects without judgment and are able to nurture and care for our own wellbeing , physical, mental and emotional, - until then we cannot authentically offer love.
Being the "enabler" of the loved person's bad behavior and abusive patterns is not love. Not for one's self. Not for the other who needs the reality check of someone honestly calling out bad behavior.
Staying in an abusive relationship has nothing to do with love. It is not love. We can love people from a distance, too, by the way, if it is the only way to stay safe. There is no need to put one-self in abusive relationship to "prove love and loyalty".
But the reason why many people have hard time to leave abusive relationships is addiction to behavioral patterns that the subconscious mind has identified as "love", because it was first received by the "standard of love and example of self-love" - the primary caregivers in the first 10 years of person's life.
Like with addicts, taking the decision to leave doesn't mean that the subconscious mind will accept the lack of the "substance". It will find it's satisfaction when the person will enter new relationships, jobs, hobbies or spiritual affiliations. The addiction will keep choosing the decisions until the deep seated distorted interpretations of love are cognized, accepted and healed.
Thank you for opening deep conversations!
That's my point too, I'm a big believer in self-love and how important it is before trying to love someone else but try explaining that to a friend who isn't ready to listen.
As someone who has been in a physically abusive relationship I know how damaging such dependence on someone else all in the name of love or perceived love as it would appear in Mariam's case, I can only hope she comes to realize this very soon.
Thanks for engaging @lauralauze plus we missed you at the PYPT show today.
Dear Princess,
Yess, but then again - we get the life lessons until we can´t bear the weight of not learning :) Most of the life's lessons are about self-acceptance and self-love.
And when we finally wake up to understand that everybody is just our own mirror-reflection - we love others as if we loved ourselves.
I felt bad for not having the chance yesterday, I missed PYPT too, but my internet was cut off ... I missed the payment date for being busy with writing my extra long meditative posts :)))) My soul transfers to other dimensions while I write hahahah