Hello mothers and fathers of this beautiful community, I have been absent for two weeks which has been nostalgic for me, because in a way, writing to you is like a kind of therapy, it helps me to drain my days whether happy or sad, these two weeks were full of difficulties, Luna got sick, she lost a week of classes because she had a lot of phlegm, then due to a pedicure I got an infected toe and my foot swelled up so much that I couldn't even walk and Luna has a karate grade exam this Tuesday, She missed a week of classes, since she had a lot of phlegm, then I got an infected toe from a pedicure and my foot swelled so much that I couldn't even walk and Luna has a karate grade exam this Tuesday so she has had intensive practice to recover the week she was sick, so I have been super busy.
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Anyway, things that happen in everyday life that we must bear, assume and act to solve them, these two weeks of much stress, mental load and fatigue, I have had some intrusive thoughts, not pretty, and recovered a little calm I started to investigate a little why these horrible thoughts that come to me out of nowhere, I do not ask or desire in my life, I realized that I am not the only one and that to some extent, I repeat, some extent, are usually normal in any mother or not necessarily have to be a mother.
Intrusive thoughts are an indication to tell you that we are under a lot of stress, but I must clarify that this will depend on how often we have these thoughts, because if it is very often and are affecting your daily life then they are not normal and you should go to a professional, all human beings at some point in our lives we have had intrusive thoughts, that are let's say undue, of generally violent characteristics, to imagine violent or undue things for any person and this happens without asking for it, without wishing it, they simply come out of nowhere, it does not mean at any moment that you have in your interior a dark desire to make them come true, not at all, the reality is that what they cause is fear.
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English Version (click here)
Not many dare to talk about this, because obviously it is something very personal and besides that they are thoughts that you do not want to be misinterpreted or that will doubt your integrity or mental health, but they do exist. I will talk about my perspective as a mom, since these two weeks have presented themselves to me, but in my condition as a mother, the thought that comes to me all of a sudden is that something bad will happen to me and I will leave my daughter alone in this world, it is not something that I want, it is not something that provoked me to think, they just come suddenly to disturb me.
I read that many times these thoughts in people is a way to solve problems, as a way to be prepared for any unwanted circumstances, and it is not that I live worried about this, mortified every day no, when these thoughts come what I do is hug my daughter or play with her, I do not fight with the thought, or give it a great importance and I know that at some point every mother has had this thought, of leaving our children alone, that no one can love them as we do, as we know them, the way they like their food, their favorite color, programs or games, each one of the smallest details are known to us, their mothers, and we love to know it, we love to do for them what they like, and we know it makes them happy, because we spend the most time with them since they are in our bosom.
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English Version (click here)
I can personally say that none of Luna's closest relatives know her as well as I do, and it is scary to think that if one day I am missing in her life, she would suffer a lot and that breaks my heart. How did I take this intrusive thought? Positively, I took this thought to take care of myself more, take care of my eating habits, take care of my physical and mental health, make sure I can be there for her and last a good time hehe, on the other hand, instill independence in my daughter, that as far as possible she does not need me, she can do everything by herself, of course I will be here for her, I am her mom, I know she depends on me emotionally and economically for the moment because she is just a little girl and there is nothing more beautiful than your mom preparing your favorite snack or dish, that your mom has your clothes clean, that motherly attention that shows our children how much we love them, none of that I will stop doing, but as a whole teach her that she can do it all herself.
These days have been calmer even though I am writing this post in the Dojo where Luna is practicing for her evaluation on Tuesday. Because I really have been very busy and I get home tired, plus the mental fatigue does not allow me to access my creative side and writer haha, as always it is a pleasure to communicate my advice, concerns or events in my life as a mother, thank you very much for those who stopped to read me, I send you a big hug.
Necesitaba leerlo. Últimamente no ha Sido nada fácil
Hay momentos en nuestra vida que son difíciles, muy duros, yo a veces me he sentido solitaria por ejemplo, pero no podemos quedarnos allí, debemos hacernos cargo de nosotras mismas y buscar soluciones, pedir ayuda también es dar un gran paso, espero que todo empiece a mejorar amiga, de lo negativo también se puede sacar provecho. Te envío un fuerte abrazo.
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Pues mira si, creo que es algo que pasamos muchas en algún momento y sobretodo con tanta carga física y mental, nuestro cerebro se agota o nuestra mente y de repente nos dispara esos pensamientos que salen de la nada, me gusta que pienses que una de la mejor forma de controlarlos es abrazando tu hija porque si , es medicinal y ellos nos devuelven a la realidad. Pensar en su bienestar siempre y el temor de que nadie los cuidara como sus madres , también me parece que siempre será algo que como madres tendremos presentes. Gracias por compartir esta experiencia y no, no has sido la única , sigue adelante que lo estás haciendo excelente. Bendiciones!
Y ese es solo uno de algunos pensamientos que he tenido que no provoca ni mencionar en voz alta, pero hay que entender que a veces estamos muy agotados, con mucho estrés y es normal que lleguen pensamientos extraños, debemos es ver las señales, indicativos de que tenemos que descansar, relajarnos un poco para volver a nuestro estado sereno. El abrazo de nuestros hijos es milagroso. Gracias amiga por detenerte a leerme, saludos.