Amigos de HIVE, todos hemos tenido sueños desde pequeños, cosas por cumplir para cuando seamos adultos, desde la adolescencia siempre soñé con formar una familia cuando fuese una adulta, no era un sueño que pudiera gritar a todo pulmón, ya que todos en mi familia querían que fuera una profesional y prospera, querer una familia no era algo muy ambicioso para los demás. Este deseo viene desde que tuve conciencia sobre mis carencias en mi niñez, deseé formar mi propia familia, llena de amor, respeto y apoyo.
Friends of HIVE, we all have had dreams since we were little, things to accomplish when we are adults, since adolescence I always dreamed of starting a family when I was an adult, it was not a dream that I could shout at the top of my lungs, since everyone in my family wanted me to be a professional and prosperous, wanting a family was not something very ambitious for others. This desire comes from the time I became aware of my childhood shortcomings, I wanted to form my own family, full of love, respect and support.
Desde que supe que estaba embarazada a mis 27 años a pesar de que sería una madre soltera y no era lo que hubiera deseado para mí y bebé pensé, las familias no siempre son de un papá, una mamá y los hijos, existen diferentes tipos de familias, así que a partir de ese momento me propuse aprender y sanar para darle a mi hija todo lo que yo no tuve.
Since I knew I was pregnant at 27 years old even though I would be a single mother and it was not what I would have wanted for me and baby I thought, families are not always a dad, a mom and children, there are different types of families, so from that moment I set out to learn and heal to give my daughter everything I didn't have.
Cuando digo: "todo lo que yo no tuve" no me refiero a las cosas materiales, me refiero a seguridad, bienestar emocional, sentir apoyo, sentir que mi voz era importante para mis seres queridos. Yo siempre fui una persona retraída, tímida, me costaba hacer amistades, expresarme con facilidad, debo decir que tener a mi hija me ha hecho crecer como persona, me volvió un poco más sociable y es que desde que ella nació me he dedicado a dar importancia a su voz, ser ella misma sin importar nada, sin duda ha dado frutos, Luna se expresa con naturalidad, no teme mostrarse delante los demás, así sea bailando, actuando o bromeando y verla así me hace la mamá más feliz del mundo porque prefiero que sea así a ser como yo de niña que solo estaba sentada en una esquina sin hacer nada, callando quien era o podía ser.
When I say "everything I didn't have" I don't mean material things, I mean security, emotional wellbeing, feeling supported, feeling that my voice was important to my loved ones. I was always a withdrawn person, shy, it was hard for me to make friends, to express myself easily, I must say that having my daughter has made me grow as a person, she made me a little more sociable and since she was born I have dedicated myself to give importance to her voice, to be herself no matter what, Luna expresses herself naturally, she is not afraid to show herself in front of others, whether dancing, acting or joking and seeing her like that makes me the happiest mom in the world because I prefer her to be like that than to be like me as a child who was just sitting in a corner doing nothing, keeping quiet about who she was or could be.
Pero no todo es perfecto, y parte de crecer y ser mejores cada día es reconocer cuando nos equivocamos para luego actuar y cuando decimos:" le daré a mi hijo lo que yo no tuve" no siempre es lo más acertado, y explico el porqué, mi opinión empírica: a medida que Luna iba creciendo y yo aplicaba mi método de crianza de darle lo que no tuve, me di cuenta que di demasiado jejeje, por ejemplo, Luna piensa que ella es importante y los demás deben escucharla sin ninguna consecuencia (claro tiene 4 años) o compresión por las necesidades de los demás. Me di cuenta de algo, no debemos darles a nuestros hijos lo que no tuvimos o no podemos asociar su niñez con nuestra niñez, mis circunstancias fueron diferentes y yo fui una niña diferente, creo que como padres a pesar que nos basamos en asociar las cosas, buscar similitudes o aplicar cosas de nuestro pasado.
But not everything is perfect, and part of growing and being better every day is to recognize when we are wrong and then act and when we say: "I will give my child what I did not have" is not always the most accurate, and I explain why, my empirical opinion: as Luna was growing and I applied my parenting method of giving her what I did not have, I realized that I gave too much hehehehe, for example, Luna thinks she is important and others should listen to her without any consequence (of course she is 4 years old) or understanding for the needs of others. I realized something, we should not give our children what we did not have or we cannot associate their childhood with our childhood, my circumstances were different and I was a different child, I believe that as parents even though we rely on associating things, look for similarities or apply things from our past.
Debemos entender que nuestros hijos son personas únicas, formándose en una época diferente, tienen su propio carácter y por ende tienen necesidades diferentes a las que pudimos tener nosotros de niños y es allí donde debemos guiarlos y apoyarlos según lo que necesiten para ser personas plenas, equilibradas y sobre todo, educadas y agradecidas. Ahora, no le doy a Luna lo que nunca tuve, le doy a Luna lo que necesita según sus necesidades inmediatas, ser equilibrada, no pensar en lo que fue y parte de sanar el pasado es eso, aprender de lo que pasó y dejarlo allá atrás, estar en el ahora y disfrutar de las cosas positivas que con mucho esfuerzo fui forjando, sentirme orgullosa de lo mucho que logré. No tuve el control de lo que pasó por ser solo una niña, hoy como adulta tengo la responsabilidad de cambiar todo eso, tomar el control de mi vida, buscar mi propio bienestar y será el mejor ejemplo que puedo darle a mi hija.
We must understand that our children are unique people, being formed in a different era, they have their own character and therefore have different needs than we may have had as children and that is where we must guide and support them according to what they need to be full, balanced and above all, educated and grateful people. Now, I don't give Luna what I never had, I give Luna what she needs according to her immediate needs, to be balanced, not to think about what was and part of healing the past is that, to learn from what happened and leave it behind, to be in the now and enjoy the positive things that with much effort I was forging, to feel proud of how much I achieved. I was not in control of what happened because I was just a child, today as an adult I have the responsibility to change all that, take control of my life, look for my own wellbeing and it will be the best example I can give to my daughter.
A este paso quizás sí, yo riego su vida, pero creo que
ella así pequeñita también riega la mía...
At this rate, maybe yes, I will water her life, but I think
that she is watering mine too...
ella así pequeñita también riega la mía...
At this rate, maybe yes, I will water her life, but I think
that she is watering mine too...
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