Dealing with a picky eater? Its frustrating right? Feels like you are constantly in a battle with your kid all day. The kid ends up eating something unhealthy, while you are exhausted and hopeless, and feeling somewhat guilty of not providing proper meals. When this happens for days in a row, a bout of worry settles in as you start to fear your kid not getting the needed nutrition to grow.
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Of course, your worries are legitimate. Your kid will at some point start facing problems related to health and nutrition.
How can you help your kid deal with picky eating?
I had similar problems with my first kid. He never ever ate anything at the table, and was always on a hunt for something unhealthy at random times. I got advice from my relatives and friends that I should throw away all the sweets, chocolates, and everything unhealthy. Stack the fridge with fruits and vegetables and he would start eating when he got hungry. It didn’t work. I realised he would never develop a healthy relationship with food. He would always be on the lookout for all the junk, and the moment he found some he would switch.
I sat down and thought this through. Did I want a kid who loved healthy foods and enjoyed eating them or a kid who ate just because he had no other choice? I definitely wanted one with no issues surrounding food. It would lead to so many problems later.
So I didn’t throw out all the unhealthy foods. I didn’t make any major changes. I just stopped forcing him to eat. I put up a small rule for the whole family that I made clear should not be broken by anyone, not even the parents.
“Sit at the table at mealtimes, even if you don’t want to eat.”
I would make a healthy meal, and couple it with the safe foods that my son liked to eat. I didn’t eliminate it, I added it to the mealtimes. So instead of skipping meals all together, my son could now sit and eat his favourite food on the table right in front of us. That stopped him from putting his head in the fridge at random times. Slowly he started trying out the foods that I put on the table, and without even me forcing him, he started to listen to his body and eat when he was hungry. He didn’t resist the healthy vegetables or fruits anymore. He felt safe around food, and surprisingly liked them better than the junk he was so used to.
For my second kid, I tried doing all this from an early stage. The moment she passed the one-year mark I tried giving her all the foods in pureed form. From broccoli, to mango, peach, peas, anything I could manage to make a delicious puree out of. She ate everything. When she got her teeth, I would leave finger foods in a plate near where she was playing and she would crawl over and pick bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, and whatever else was on the plate. She made a mess, and I let her make it. When she started having candies and chocolates, I would put a small portion on her plate at all times. I never told her this was bad food! It would just increase its attraction to her. She treated brownies and cake just like all the other food and thus never developed an abnormal craving for it. Of course, she likes it better, but she knows what to eat on the table.
I never forced her to eat. Whenever she would say I’m full, no matter if she had her whole bowl or just two spoonful. It’s safe to say, the only food she can’t eat is anything that is unusually spicy. And she likes it, it’s just she hasn’t built the tolerance for it yet. Everything else, she eats without complaint.
We have our tough days when she doesn’t want to eat anything. Sometimes she insists on eating chocolates and candies and not sit at the table. But those days are few, not a constant. And I admit it does worry me, and tire me out, but she is doing okay.
Sadly, all my efforts are being dented by a small mistake. We didn’t impose boundaries when my children’s grandparents insisted on spoiling them. My little one would only get one chocolate from the store, and nothing else. Her grandpa insisted on spoiling her, telling her to get a bag full. Her grandpa acted as if eating less sugars was the bigger of all evils.
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My tip to all new and existing parents is, make mealtimes a healthy experience, and let your children try all foods. Help them listen to their bodies, respect their boundaries, and not force them. But please, take care of your family boundaries with other people especially with grandparents and other relatives. No matter what you try, if there is a constant interference from the outside, your children will be affected.
I’ve started working on boundaries slowly. No one is taking it well. I’ll talk about that in a different post one day. Till then, Happy Eating!
P.S. Share your experiences and tips so we can learn from each other! ❤️
