I have had to train myself in the way I deal with customers. I quite often get called in when problems with our client projects have been escalated. I am faceed with irate people but need to take the crap without allowing an emotional response. It has taken me years to finesse as a skill.
With regards to my incident, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I feel it wasn't aligned to the behaviours and values that I hold dear. I therefore feel I lost my integrity in that instance.
On the other hand, after a few previous occasions of racist comments and actions, they backed off. They kept out of my way and never said anything again to my wife.
That superficially feels like a result and I was happy with that outcome. However, I didn't actually help to change their underlying discriminative ethos. Behind closed doors, they were probably even more racist than before perhaps using my actions to justify their beliefs.
Wisdom indeed comes with age and experience.
I'm glad to hear that situation worked out as well as possible.
Just on the last comment you made about wisdom.
You're right although, wisdom doesn't always come with age and experience, there's plenty of people who have both and yet no wisdom. A person needs to want to bring it on board, it doesn't just happen.