Hello there,
I'm sorry you had your energy drained by this very negative person. I feel bad for him because he might not know how to actually shift his behavior. He might not even how much it is affecting him and others around him. Kudos to you for trying to steer the mood.
I believe negative feelings and emotions are somewhat necessary, but we must be aware when they become the norm in our minds. Negative feelings and emotions should be transited, not silenced or repressed, as they often are a valuable sign of something deeper going on. I hope this man can de some introspection in the near future to help himself see life with a clearer crystal.
It was a funny day today. On one hand I helped a chap find clarity, take him from feeling miserable to feeling like there was light at the end of the dark tunnel he was/is in which I wrote about in my last post. On the other hand I spent a miserable five hours with an incredibly negative person whom, try as I might, I could not sway from the path of self-righteousness, victim mentality and extreme negativity. A weird sort of day.
Oh, the contradictions of existence! An interesting experience overall. You might know yourself and your capabilities a little more now, perhaps?
There's a lot of underlying factors to this fellow's attitude and I know (basically) what they are, I'm just not willing to write about them here. I feel sorry for him as he just doesn't have the skills he needs to see for himself and will languish in that negative space because of it. Sad really as he is a good chap overall.
I've spent most of my life learning hard lessons and applying them to my life and other people's and am a leader of people so have some clue how to do it, but sometimes things get the better if me, like those hours with this bloke. I learn new things all the time though and working with him had some positive effect on him I'm sure. We'll see as it moves forward huh?
Hoping for the best. Everyone would benefit from a lighter, more positive workplace.
Can I ask about your background in training to lead? Sounds ver interesting and I'd like to know a bit more.
I've been in jobs where I was put into positions of leadership from a reasonably young age, and in which getting it right really mattered. I was trained, sought my own further training and developed my skills to be better at what I did, a more complete leader. Later, in other jobs, I used those skills in business and with clients and, of course, worked to develop and deepen them even further.
I've worked hard to understand people, including myself, and to have the ability to see them, and their situations, with more clarity. Add in a few other skills and that leaves me able to better deal with people, lead them and help them gain some of the skills I have. It makes me a better manager and in my own life a much better individual. Mostly.
Thank you for your thorough answer. It's great that you've had the experience of leadership, and I think you might have always known the crucial differences between a true leader and a 'boss' figure. That's commendable!
I credit my father for helping to build the right foundation for me to build myself upon. He was a good man: Generous, kind, thoughtful, respetful, courteous and more. I'm not exactly like him, but my core values are based on his examples.
I learned, very early in life, that I have the ability to design and create myself the way I'd like to be and that's what I largely do. I've made mistakes (learned from them), had terrible experiences (learned from them) and have managed to find it in myself to rise (after falling) and take another step. I'm not the, stay down sort of fellow. It's this, and a million other things, that helps me be a better man and leader.
Thanks for your comment.