Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
People enter and exit our lives; some stay a while and leave, others stay for long periods and some have value whilst others do not.
Over years I've been happy to see some go, especially if their presence was toxic, and some who have exited left me feeling empty, as if they took a part of me with them, although this is more rare. The feeling of loss in the latter case often endures long after the person has drifted away and can hurt - That's the nayture of loss sometimes.
I generally have the ability to reset, to draw a line underneath a person and simply move forward - That's what people see on the surface anyway and in the main it's the reality when someone exits. But sometimes a person cannot be so easily emotionally-excised despite their physical distance or absence I guess is more appropriate a word and these are the situations that usually cause me the most pain.
If a person chooses to remove themselves from my life for whatever reason I generally respect that decision. In fact, if I'm a negative force on a person I'll advise them to leave, as I never want to be a negative force for people I value or love. The depth of my feeling will endure for them though, even whilst I respect their decision to exit. Besides, what choice do I have but to do so in any case - They're gone.
I need to draw that line and move on with my own realities, no matter how difficult it may be. No matter how important that person was, or remains, to me. No matter that it hurts deeply. Forward is the way life moves and so forward I go, although I lament their leaving.
Naturally there's people I move along and out of my life of my own accord also; I'll either provide a gentle push, a hint or two, or exit them from my life so effectively it's like they have simply vanished in a split second. That's the flip-side of that negativity thing I mentioned above; I don't accept it. If a person doesn't fit into my life, doesn't deserve what I have to offer or is toxic and therefore valueless, then they are gone: No remorse, no regret, no mercy. They're just gone as if they never existed - It's those people I never lament losing.
There is one currently whose absence has cut me so deeply that I can't see myself healing - It hurts at a primal level. You won't understand of course because I'm not willing to retell the whole story - It's simply no one's business. But despite the hurt I feel that person's decision is their own to make and sustain; the love I hold for them permits me to wake every day and continue to love them, to miss them every second, and continue to be that better person they helped me become. But the hurt remains and sometimes when people drift drawing lines beneath them isn't possible.
Now what about you? How do you deal with loss, either you exiting someone from your life or them doing so from yours. It would be nice to hear some thoughts I guess, so feel free to comment; you don't need to add the story though, keep that personal to you.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Discord: galenkp#9209
Image is mine: White Tower, Tower of London, UK.
Loss is hard, no matter who walked away. As a hopeless romantic, I would be devastated for a time, and, the best I can say is that I let that run through me. No alcohol and no rehashing of my story to the world. Keep it classy.
Wanting a person in your life won't bring them back. Time will soften the blow and someday, but, not soon, you will feel a twinge when you hear the name, but, it won't be like the gut wrenching deal it is today.
Honest.
Didn't you see me over here trying write this while you were over at my post?
True words indeed especially, no alcohol and no rehashing of my story to the world. Keep it classy. So many air their dirty laundry for the world to see. Not my style.
Lol...I was looking, thought that was you, but wasn't certain.
Sure. Sure. That works too. :))
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Gee wiz Gal, I didn't think you would miss me that much. 😉
I couldn't stop thinking about you too, so thought I'd better pop in and say g'day.
Please say hello to my friend when you see him. Tells me he sent you an invite just now over at Discord ×××38
Stay safe friend.
SirKnight.
Lol, hey mate...Been a while! I'll head over to Discord.
I don't bring anyone close to me, but if I have a serious relationship with someone, it is very deep.. I, in fact, merge with the person, grow into him or her. Therefore after a loved one leaves my life, some part of me, of my essence, is lost.. I feel a sense of loss and inferiority.. It is as if a "hole" forms in me, which aches, and sometimes I want to fill it with some wrong, false value..
Yes, that's something to look out for I suppose, filling the void of loss with something that may not ultimately be right for us.
Your content has been voted as a part of Encouragement program. Keep up the good work!
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