An Apology to Myself: I’m sorry if I’m being hard on you

I’m sorry if I’m being hard on you. I know you keep thinking you can do so many things with your time. There’s nothing wrong with that but please keep your expectations realistic. You don’t have to finish everything today. There is still tomorrow. Just keep this in mind: work on the things that give the most impact. Don’t spend too much time on the little things. I know you get into the trap of exerting too much effort on the tiniest details. Most of the time, enough is better than late.

I’m sorry if you think every wrong thing that’s happening is your fault. I know there are times when you think you’re the worst and the most inadequate person in the world. Don’t let your insecurities be the reason to take all the blame. Stand up for yourself and stop being the victim. Be aware of the things that are outside your control. You’re human. It’s okay to make mistakes. Don't worry so much about the lost time and resources. Just remember the learning you can take from the experience.

I’m sorry if you have to live a life of anxiety and sometimes a self-worth. I know you can be confident. And I know it’s hard for you to tap into your true potential because of your inhibitions. You are worthy of love and compassion. You have it in you. If others can see it, believe in their belief of you. You might not like to hear this but yes, your fears only exist in your mind. Always remember that you are more than your worries.

I’m sorry if you feel sadness in great waves. I know how much you wish to be normal like others and how you want to know how to deal with failure, conflict and disappointment like a mentally and emotionally healthy person does. You need to accept that you will never be normal as how you see others. Everyone is flawed and crazy in their own ways, so are you. You might be depressed and anxious today but always remember this: you will have moments of clarity and happiness amidst the moments of sadness. You will eventually find yourself in a place and time where you will feel better than yesterday.

I’m sorry if you don’t know how to express yourself. I know you have the right words for people to understand you and that it’s difficult to say them when you’re in a stressful situation. You’re a great speaker, I know you are. I understand you don’t like speaking when there’s no need to. That’s alright. You’re an over-thinker but just be honest. Clarify if you’re unsure. Admit if you don’t know. If you’re stressed, calm down, clear your mind and focus on what needs to be conveyed.

I’m sorry if it takes a lot of time for you to be okay. I know you don’t want other people to suffer from your sadness but you can’t help it. Don’t stop yourself from feeling sad. You’re entitled to your emotions. Just remember this: never decide on things when you’re angry. You can’t keep your sadness to yourself. Share your worries. Ask for help. There are a lot of people in your life ready to support you. Don’t be afraid about being judged. If those people truly matter to you, then you should listen to what they have to say.

I’m sorry if I’m being hard on you.

This post was inspired by my original Medium article. I rewrote this to remind me and others to be more compassionate to ourselves. I have been swamped this past few weeks with so many activities in my life. And when things don't go according to plan, I berate myself internally. But I know now that I just need to look at myself from a distance and from a place of compassion. It's called detachment and self-distancing. I will be writing about it more in my future posts.

Thank you for spending the time to read this article and looking at my sunset photos. See you in the next one. Cheers!

Glebert

_{He’s a dreamer and a thinker. He tends to sensationalize a lot of things. He got that from his mother. He’s also a bit melodramatic. Must be from his father. Bear with him as he shares his thoughts and experiences about his travels, dreams, and the variety of things he’s trying to learn and improve (personal development, writing, cryptocurrency, fitness, etc.). If you like this article please give it an upvote and if for some reason you’re interested in more future content, please don’t hesitate to follow.}