I think the picture represents my mind at the moment rather well - A mess.
For the next couple days I will be training full-day Administrator training sessions remotely, which isn't likely to be a great deal of fun for anyone, though I will try my best to spice it up, without cocking it up too much. My ability to focus keeps degrading and this will be quite an intensive delivery, so I am not sure how I am going to manage - but manage I must.
Sometimes there is just no option but to "soldier on" so to speak and perhaps it is a good thing to be forced into doing what would otherwise be avoided if it could. Maybe if we always had the choice to skip having to act when we aren't at our best, we will never increase what our best is as we won't put ourselves into positions where we have to stretch too far.
Of course, it would be nice to have a little respite from time to time and 2020 has felt more like the year of "Fission" than *vision, * where everything has been split into two multiple times and we are all living in a fragmented world of what was, trying to find a new normal. But the new normal seems to be much like my mind, a garbage dump.
Do I sound negative?
I am not really negative, but I am worn down a little and my nerves are a little more frayed than they usually would be. I think that this is due to the compounding effect of all the unusual circumstances coming together, with no sign of slowing down. It is good to remember though, nothing lasts forever and one way or another, circumstances will change.
I figure the trick is to do ones best in the dips, so that the peaks are higher, then use those peaks to invest into a new floor so that the next round of dips isn't as deep. I keep failing at this though, as while I am pretty good in the dips, I don't capitalize enough on the peaks and instead just ride them back into the depths.
There are the people who are only willing to participate when the sun shines, I might be more the opposite, where I tend to perform in the mud. I should probably work on that - there is no point in having a cycle of life that never sees the sunshine - or gets to enjoy the moon. To be effective, one has to be able to cope in a wide range of conditions, the downside and the up.
This week I will try to get to the hospital for the blood tests to check my thyroid function, which will hopefully inform how I should proceed with my medication, but it takes a long time for it to have an effect and, it is a bit trial and error so, it can take even longer. But, at least I know what is going on as for over a decade, I had no idea why I was feeling and acting the way I was and I think that was the worst part of it, the not knowing.
But, I don't think 2020 has been a complete write-off, as even though there is one pressure after another on many of us, those who do make it through might not only be more appreciative of the better times, but be better able to cope with them and use them to shore up the next round. I have a feeling that any recovery is going to be short-lived, with the global negative cycles increasing in frequency until the system collapses completely.
It seems that a reset is inevitable and while it is engineered to be a controlled burn for those with the matches to benefit, I think it is going to be more akin to wildfire spreading through dry grass. We are a social tinderbox waiting for a spark to ignite and we haven't seen anything yet. I could be wrong, but I think it is more a matter of time than an if it will happen.
Like any economic collapse - they always happen again as that is the way the system is designed - Designed to fail. The only thing that changes is the duration and severity - and I think that the next is going to be long and severe. Or at least, severe. Perhaps it will be so catastrophic that it will be short lived and force a massive shift, but that would require the quick implementation of a solution to replace the system and I don't think that is going to happen, even if there would be options ready to deliver.
I guess at times like these, it is normal for people to go into their shell more and concentrate on their own needs to a greater degree, but I wonder if this is like the avoidance of the difficult, a choice not to stretch ourselves. Although, with limited personal resources, it is easy to over stretch and become spread to thin, which doesn't effectively help anyone anyway. Is it better for everyone to have something if no one has enough to do anything of consequence?
Well, I will get back to this later as I finish off the slide deck for tomorrow's sessions and mentally prepare for the expected onslaught of questions I am unable to answer. But, at least I can take notes and find out - It is better to know, than remain blind - even if the path of discovery is messy.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Make sure you take some time to recharge...That's just as important important as everything else..
I think I should plan something for next weekend to designate time especially for it.
Yep, that's often the only way. Put it into your diary as an appointment, make it non-negotiable and get it done. Sometimes just a small amount of detachment can make a big difference.
There hasn't been much detachment from anything of late, so I guess I am due :)
Send @smallsteps here in the mail. I'll look after her for a while so you can have a break.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.Between the cryptographic drop, the house remodeling and the work as a consultant, you can feel a little lost and dazed. Ideally, as your brother told you, you should take a break. To maintain your mental and spiritual balance, it is necessary to get away from those noises that can steal your energies. As far as I read you, you are always an optimistic, full and positive person. Let nothing and nobody take you out of your center. Successful and productive week, @tarazkp
While it is getting cooler, perhaps on the weekend we will be able to find something to do where we don't have to do anything "official" - I think that would be nice :)
Hope you are well!
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.Downhill feels much better after you've struggled going uphill. And even when going in the hard steep path, the pinnacle can be reached if taking the appropriate rest. That's what I tell myself when suffering in the bike. But later on, while going down, even if I do have to go slow because the path is full of rocks and is dangerous to speed up, it feels awesome.
I was talking to a friend who had been watching the Tour de France and was talking about a break away rider who rode alone for 100km until the pack caught him in the last 100 meters and he had nothing left, but held for third. This has nothing to do with the comment really, but I find these kinds of people amazing.
I kinda like the struggle - recently it has felt that the reward hasn't been there, but at the same time, if I don't do the work now, it never will be. May as well enjoy the ride - even if sweaty :)
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.The thyroid gland, as an "indicator", it fails in 2 cases. 1st, when we tend to do nothing and feel sorry for ourselves and the second, when we do not give ourselves rest and work like the damned.
I wish you to find your middle ground. They say rest is the best medicine, what if they're right?
I agree with your perspective here. People emotionally run themselves ragged. Too much work, too much drama, too much....you need to decompress and just remove yourself all together for a period of time to allow the hormones, anxiety and thoughts to settle.
It's cool that not only I think so :)
No i think your thinking is the more honest one on the subject. So many people completely disregard the natural processes the body uses and wants to do to re regulate and destress the body from life. Ancient cultures understood this the same way. Its the more modern man that has decided to force natural processes of the body and brain.
Exactly, cool said!
It is funny you talk about drama. Someone close to me keeps trying to drag my family into drama and I won't have a bar of it. Drama is one thing I manage well - mostly by staying off social media - does Hive count as social? :D
Yeah but its different. You dont have family typically trying to drag you into fights on hive. And your brother here doesnt seem like the type. I also try to stay off the news. Thats toxic too
Not on Hive, but they can try to drag into fights - I don't do drama anywhere really :)
The news is a scourge on humanity at the moment.
Agreed. My mother is addicted to it. I wont watch a minute of it. I prefer to focus outwardly at the adventures in life still waiting to be had. A world outside or indifferent to the petty drama.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.Until I started my medication for it (about 7-8 years ago) I was in a pretty bad way from many perspectives. Unfortunately, no amount of rest will help that side, but rest does help with many other things and I definitely need a little bit more. Sleep isn't the issue, just rest.
I honestly believe that we as people and as individuals have learned things this year beyond our knowing. All of us (well, except for maybe the young lady that used 11 selfies in her post today. Many of them showed other relatives but really.) have done things and are doing things as a matter of course that we NEVER DID BEFORE. I think that's going to be important.
Stretching ones psyche and mind always comes with stress and pain. Always.
I agree with you that there will be a crash. Will it be an epic crash that sets the whole world on a common path toward recovery? Will it be like a slow motion train wreck with one place crashing which triggers another? I do suspect it will be prolonged when it comes due to the collateral damage affects from several unique factors.
I also agree with your brother. You sound like you could use some 'recharge' time that isn't stripping walls and hauling junk. Maybe you could consider the possibility of getting naked with your barber? Maybe you could just take small steps someplace and just indulge her whims for a day? Maybe consider forgetting your phone?
I think it is going to be pile up, one collapse after another until all are dented and burning. Hopefully we are stronger for it, but the past tells a different story. Perhaps this time we will learn and make the moves we must - but again... The past.
I did tonight. Luckily, he only had a small mirror.
Talked to the wife about doing something simple instead of work. Let's see if it gets approved.
It's always good to take a break and rest, friend @tarazkp. Many times we ignore the alarms that our body passes on to us until it says no more. Enjoy a good rest, recharge your energy and continue the journey with optimism and tranquility.
Thanks and the same for you. A little rest goes a long way, as does a little thought. :)
Pretty darkish post for you, me I don't see the re-set that so many are seeing, I do see the recovery of society being reborn so to speak. From a distant view of each other to a closer view a view of what can I do to help. But I am the ever optimist, well most of the time.
The highs and the dips, it takes a lot o climb that ladder when you are a little kid, it was so far to get to the top. Slickery clothes the slipperiest you had. Then your little head get to the top, you pause at the top of the ladder and look down and all around and think it is a long long way down. Yet you still push on, you reach the top of the big ladder, not the little one not the one designed for the little kids, but the really really tall one. You glance down the steps you just climbed, see your brother looking up with a big smile as he takes off to the front. You put your butt down, legs stretched out like your brother said, you grab the sides and pull with all your strength, the freedom is exhilarating as you build speed go faster and faster, arms outstretched smiling laughing having a blast, the slight dip is just ahead, you see it coming, you scrunch forward just a little, and zoom, airborne, you are flying by the seat of your pants, nothing but air, then the landing two point landing on your first try. Excitement and joy and glee fills your heart....
The climb can be hard, long and scary, sometimes we just need to look forward to the joy of the hard work, the results of our efforts will pay off in the long run. Just like when we were little kids and climbed the ladder of the big boys slide.
I feel that unless something drastic happens, the average will be screwed again.
Reading about the slide reminded me of summer, where they were scorchubg hot and could fry an egg. The trick was to try and keep a little cloth between the metal and skin, but there were plenty of burns :)
yep summer slides, I guess that was where they got the term Hot pants. Fall and spring was always the best seasons for sliding.
The middle class does seem to take the brunt of most change, the poor will be looked after, the middle class will either survive and grow or become the new poor. I really don't see just the three tiers most people talk about, rich, middle class, poor. In a lot of ways it is also attitudinal. I don't think you can ever really make a middle class person poor if they don't want to be poor.
People are usually "forced" into things they don't want to do. I only know a small number of people who enjoy cleaning or their jobs, for everyone else it's viewed as a bunch of hated chores wasting precious time much better spent on whatever it is thy actually enjoy but the consequences of not doing said hated things "forces" them to continue on regardless of how they feel about it XD
It's the "don't let the team down even though you really should be resting because you're sick" thing that makes me mad.
I'm sure once this one fails the next one will be exactly the same but somehow the idiots who shorehorn it in will delude themselves that it will work this time because they know better. Please make it so I'm wrong :D
eta: ps good luck with your presentation!
pps and for the love of something you love take a freaking break.
ppps listen to your big brother XP
For most, we never get ahead enough (feel ahead enough) to make the decision for ourselves, so we are forced to maintain a lifestyle or some nonsense like that - needed or not.
The presentation went okay, after a rocky start - tomorrow might be better :)
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Hopefully you will get through this, you have a lot of resilience in you! This year has not been easy on you and I personally think you were a trooper. Heroes get tired too. Sending you good vibes from Romania, have a great week!