Over the years, I have had bouts of depression, but I see it in a more pragmatic way than most as many seem to think that "they are depressed" when this isn't actually true, they are feeling depressed. Being something and feeling something are quite different things and while this seems like semantics, I don't think it is the case. The reason is that when you are something, there is little you can do about it, but when you feel something, there are many ways to change the situation.
A lot of depressed people feel that they have no agency, as if things can't change. Yet, the same people have likely said "I am happy" at some point in their lives too - so what happened? Now, I am not a psychologist of any kind, just someone who reflects on my own experiences and observations - but I don't think feeling depressed need stop positive activity, but I acknowledge that it can make it much harder, as one has to likely push against the lack of motivation in order to move. This isn't easy.
We create mental habits in the same way as physical and once a feeling becomes a default, it feels very much physical, a part of us that is hard to change and move. Just like sitting on the couch, the more we do it, the more our body feels familiar doing it, even if it doesn't feel good as our body atrophies. These days, we tend to get used to feeling bad in someway and we get so used to adjusting downward, it feels normal, even encouraged.
I think it is encouraged, where the drive is for individuals to continually do with less, less money, less space, less relationships, less intimacy, less connection to reality. For some, it could be the quest for a minimalistic existence, but if it isn't by choice, it becomes oppressive. It requires a constant repression of wants and the energy one uses to deny something, is transferred into empowering that same thing, as it controls thought and direction.
This isn't about gratification of it either, but actual acceptance to the point where it no longer has any power at all, no longer takes up psychological real estate. Yet, we are encouraged to not only feel our emotions, but express them and hold onto them. We are incentivized to make them part of "who we are" by solidifying them into our default behaviors, so that they control the directions we go, the things we do. It is increasingly difficult to act outside of our emotions, because we have so little practice doing it.
It is because of this that the internet is filled with outrage and depressives, trolls and the triggered - all these people who act on emotion or look to illicit emotional response by preying on those who have no control. Say a particular word and the emotional reaction is predictable, take a particular position and the polarization will arise - it doesn't matter if it is important or not, whether it affects lives or not - people search for spaces where they can feel something so that they can get that rush of emotional charge that they crave, like addicts looking for a hit.
Perhaps it is because in the real world we have boxed ourselves of from each other as we have delved into the digital lives created for us, so we no longer have outlets for emotional release that come with the consequences delivered on over reaction. There are fewer real friends, fewer situations in which we must practice control and much more time to be in spaces where we do not have to measure our response, because there is little physical risk in our behavior.
Yet, I think there is a physical risk, because so many people seem to be struggling emotionally, triggered by any perceived slight, real or imaginary. There is a physical reaction to the emotional reaction too as behavior changes, demeanor changes, motivation changes. Are people depressed because they are depressives by nature, or depressives by habit?
Emotions are physical, they aren't imaginary, - so that means that they can be affected, they can be trained, they can be improved and strengthened or, degraded as the case may be. What we do matters, where we pay attention matters, what we hold onto or release matters - yet with all of the choice we have over our digital world, how much of it is designed to help us improve our emotional maturity and skill, in comparison to how much of it is designed to ensure we build habits that empower and justify our emotional responses.
I think that my periods of depression have been tied to a lack of control over my world, with my first experience being after I got very ill and lost the usage of most of my physical abilities. This impacted on my opportunities in the world and had a bearing on my studies and employment opportunities - which of course impacted on my financial condition as well. Everywhere I turned, I was losing what I thought was mine to something I had no control over.
Agency. It is vital to our sense of self because if we do not feel we can control ourselves, meaning our "self" is a slave to the director. If we do not have control over our emotional responses, it means that we are slaves to whatever triggers us - the digital content pushed into our face to illicit a response, based on everything they know about us. We talk about "our" feelings - but it is those who have control over them that own them.
Should we own our emotions, or be owned by them?
Everything is about ownership in one way or another.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I sometimes think that when it's suggested that people should feel their emotions I think they meant just iterally that, just feel it and let it go and get it over with so you can then get on with things and not have this feeling gnawing incessantly at you, not to just use it as an excuse to have an over the top reaction XD
That's at least logical and understandable. I don't know about other people and whether they are depressed or just sad and say they're depressed because it sounds so much edgier; in my case I think my dumbarse brain is just borked x_x
I agree with this! There is a massive difference between acknowledging emotions and lettting them consume and direct you. I also think that people have been encouraged to show emotions, without the rule of controlling them first, which makes them highly damaging as people's emotions are reactive, even if the information they are reacting to is incorrect.
I think sadness is quite different. My daughter gets sad - but not depressed. Later in life, she will be able to discern depression (hopefully she is fine) from sadness as she will already know what it is to be sad, but depression will feel different.
Sadness and Depression, it's easy to use the word Depression but actual Depression feels like Unending Black Hole. Stay blessed.@tarazkp, Many fail to understand the difference between
It is a feeling still and everything ends, just as everything starts.
I think most don't confuse sadness however, sadness is quite different and something most people grow experiencing in some way.
Young children can be sad - do they ever feel depressed?
Perspective from experience. In my opinion Misunderstandings are most common Human Virtue. Have a pleasant time ahead.
Something for everybody here since it applies to all kinds of emotions. Depression is something I do not know much about. Seen it from outside and I still can't get into the shoes of the people who feel so. But controlled by emotion I am all too often. Even if I have the theory and the principles to combat it, it is often stronger.
I am thinking of a Zen excerpt from a story which said that allowing the offense to stay in our mind we experience it thousandfold. If somebody calls me **** on the street and I begin thinking about it, the word bounces in my mind all through my inner rage and this way I call myself **** many more times again. Not easy to learn to let go. And I mean useless and irrelevant things, not actual threats.
I think we are all controlled by emotion, but I think we have a lot more power if we can recognize it early, before the point of no return. I think it improves with training though.
When it comes to the bouncing around the mind - I think we are all on the obsessive compulsive spectrum and things like being called a **** skew our position, as it attacks our identity. It is why identity is the perfect place to target in order to control individuals and the masses they make up.
Interesting how such things were entwined with religious philosophy which had the power to protect one from certain weaknesses of the spirit. Like Pride being one of the sins to avoid. I think it is the weak point of identity. Integrity being the strong side of the continuum.
I just remembered this hymn by one G. K. Chesterton:
Oh, God of Earth and Altar Bow Down And Hear Our Cry
Our Earthly Rulers Falter, Our People Drift And Die
The Walls Of Gold Consume Us, The Swords Of Scorn Divide
Take Not Thy Thunder From Us But Take Away Our Pride
It's not less than one-year-old, it's much closer to 100-year-old.
For the most part, the core tenets of religions are largely the same and quite valuable. It is all the rest that is the issue.
While we think we have evolved because of technological advances, we are much the same as we ever were.
This reminds of how a person's diet is a by product of the microorganisms the feed upon what we eat. Did you know that people tend to spiral in some bad diets because their bodies get used to what they eat? Eat too much sweets, your body becomes to crave it. The same is true for fatty, salty, sour and any other flavor of food. The bacteria in the digestive tract keep sending signals to the brain and make you want more food that is not actually good and in some way you loss agency upon what you eat because your body is reacting in a way.
I see this whole deal with depression works in a similar fashion. Things get out of control and as we don't like to face our own problems, we tend to let is escalate out of control. Ergo, we dive into the pool of depression (it is oversimplified, but you get the point).
And just as changing one's eat habits is hard, so is getting out of depression. The body and the mind tend to get fixed on it. Stopping these cycles can be a real pain and walk through failure if not taken seriously or looking for help when you need it.
I'm not taking into consideration medical conditions because those operate in their own realms under their particular rules.
Yeah, it becomes an addiction, the body goes into withdrawals. It is especially true for sugary foods.
I think as the body starts to crave the feelings, people can't even imagine themselves to be without them - it becomes part of their identity.
Yes, this is a different thing.
In my experience, going down into depression feels a lot like drowning -thing I also have experience with. But trying to get to feel often doesn't work. It's like that numbness of the the body when air is almost gone.
I drowned and was resuscitated on my 8th birthday. After the initial panic, I accepted my fate and I don't think I have ever felt that kind of serenity since.
I have had 2 experiences with that. During the first one, I wasn't feeling anything actually. Everything was calm. I remember watching stuff going on from the bottom of the pool. Until someone dived in and took me out. It feels weird. I mean yes it is a serene thing. The second time, I was nearly drowned by my brother and cousin at the beach. We were playing with a ball and someone threw it past me. They pushed me into the water and they were pinning me down. At first, I thought they had realized I was there, but then I started to get desperate and struggle to get out. It was just moments before I ran out of air that I somehow managed to pull myself out and hit both of them in the face with my elbows.
In my case at least spending time in nature really helps, running in nature is the best, it gives me a clear head and better mood.
It seems that is quite common for many people. Not everyone of course has access to green space, but those that do should take advantage of it.
I totally get it. I like that differentiation of feeling something being something. Semantics are important exactly for this reason. The correct use of words allows us to make this distinction.
Many people share this experience of what seems like episodes of depression. I'm relating from my own experience of going through 3 solid episodes of depression in my life. A friend shed some light on a different perspective to this. It comes from the idea that we tend to feel depressed when do not connect much with others who can share our views and provide that sort intellectual stimulus we deeply yearn. It is natural for us to want to talk and connect. When we do not get this stimulus (the intellectual stimuli is important for me), we can feel depressed. So what my friend told me is: maybe you are not depressed, maybe you just need to surround yourself with the right people.
I agree with the lack of intimacy we see today as we leave in separate boxes mentally, far from one another. Those who crave genuine connection, excluding the presence of technology, are seen as odd and demanding. When will a conversation 1 on 1 be carried out without the need of one of them to constantly check the phone?
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ENGAGEtokens.