This movie felt like a fungus on Lana Wachowski's foot.
Ed
I've been now staring at this sentence for a while, and this is my favorite intro by far, it sums up the work of half of the Wachowskis duo, with this not so awaited reboot of the franchise, that will definitely ends all discussions on whether or not the first Matrix was a beautiful accident, a lighting in a bottle that can never be reproduced, and if we want to see another trilogy of old people doing sad & stiff choreographies filmed with student equipment, with poor photography, and free copyrighted music.
Welcome to my review of The Matrix Resurrections, it was totally unexpected, but like a passionate enraged lover, I am writing this to you Lana, and the Matrix, to let you know that this is over between us.
You see, since we've "seen" each other, I've grown as an individual, and while I still enjoy fake leather pants from time to time, I really can't stand mediocrity anymore, it slowly crept in, from one movie to another, and ended up 22 years later, with a dumpster fire. 🔥
In the beginning, it was love at first sight. Your magnificent intro in the original The Matrix, the music that sets the tone, the visual effects, we hear the voices of 2 protagonists, it's charming, intriguing, yet simple:
(Cellular)
Cypher: Yeah.
Trinity: Is everything in place?
Cypher: You weren’t supposed to relieve me.
Trinity: I know, but I felt like taking your shift.
Cypher: You like him, don’t you? You like watching him.
Trinity: Don’t be ridiculous.
Cypher: We’re going to kill him, do you understand that?
Trinity: Morpheus believes he is The One.
Cypher: Do you?
Trinity: It doesn’t matter what I believe.
Cypher: You don’t, do you?
Trinity: Did you hear that?
Cypher: Hear what?
Trinity: Are you sure this line is clean?
Cypher: Yeah, ‘course I’m sure.
Trinity: I better go.
Instant...Classic...
One thing for sure I have to thank you for Lana, with this latest convoluted mess, you made The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions look like they belong to the same universe, and gave them a coherence, what I would have never thought possible.
This...Thing I've just watched...Isn't the Matrix.
What I witnessed tonight, ladies and gentlemen, is a real symbol of a dying industry, that doesn't know how to survive post pandemic and just gave up on making good movies.
Blame it on covid, blame it on vanity, blame it on Tiktok if you have to, or on the people needing to cash in that sweet, sweet Matrix money, but I should have sensed that something was wrong while watching the trailer:
Listen, I am not going to give you bullet points on what is wrong with The Matrix Resurrection, and trying to have a decent argumentation, I am way too passionate on the subject, instead I am going to keep on venting, and eventually there will be an end when there are no words to be said, which means the post is finished.
Of course all eyes will be on me, because I am the first one to talk about it, to the people out there that enjoyed the movie, there is something wrong with you in the first place 🤓!
Don't make me write bullet points aaaah:
- Some shots are good, and other are B grade amateur level
- Keanu Reeves looks like he is heavily sedated
- The dialogues, are really poorly written
- A script that is trying too hard to surf on the nostalgia, while really ruining the magic of the original
- Bad acting, all around, across all board
- Forced woke bullshit, shoved down your throat
- The music...Sounds like they hired someone on fiver
- I can't believe I am writing bullet points
- Confusing plot, with irrelevant scenes
- Everyone got some brand new veneers (that's a positive point I guess)
- The action scenes are slow, sluggish, unchoreographed. Yes, that's a term, it's like someone was there to make sure that everyone stand still during the sequence, and make as little movement as possible, in the stiffest, most robotic way possible.
- It was sad, but in a very unintended manner
- It tried to be funny
I could continue on and on for hours, just piling up what went wrong with this sinking ship, instead I am trying to find one positive thing...
Ah yes! I know! They are reusing a lot of old shots, sequences, from the Matrix 1, 2 and 3, that was the best part of the movie.
In other word, the best part of the movie, wasn't in the movie.
Now, I know you silly Hivers, you are going to tell me "Ed, I am sure you are exaggerating, I am sure it ain't THAT bad".
Ok then, let's play a game. I invite you to put the movie on, and see how long you last.
I had to physically make sure to stay in the same room, as my body wanted to go somewhere else, as if fully conscious of the trauma based mind control 😁 and the ongoing torture.
I eventually managed to go through the 2 hours and a half, of self indulging, at times borderline parodic, attempt to make a movie, but I won't lie, it was one the most painful cinematographic experience ever.
Listen, I am a movie lover. I love them so much, I consumed them my entire life, and you always remember when you've watched your favorite movie of all time.
It happened that in 1999, The Matrix changed the world, changed my life too.
My son name is Neo, for christ sake! Ok fair enough, it wasn't entirely linked to the movie, it means "gift of god" in Sotho, but still, The Matrix, the red and blue pill, the white rabbit, the allegory of our society, is...Was more than ever relevent in today's society, when I saw another Matrix coming out, I had a little bit of hope, I thought "Yes, finally another movie that will open the minds of our youth, push the boundaries", and instead, we got something that will be long forgotten, some things aren't meant to last, especially the good ones.
This is why I am forever thankful that there isn't (yet) a reboot for Back To The Future, or The Gremlins, because Robert Zemeckis or Joe Dante have so much respect for their craft, for the universe they built, that they would never make compromises, cut corners, just because MONEY.
I would have been ok with a 12 episodes Netflix series, with a Matrix stamp on it, but this "movie" should have never happened, and now it's out there, and there are 2 more to go. I don't think I have the heart for this, someone might have to take the relay for the next one.
If you have watched The Matrix Resurrections, give me your best one-liner roast in the comment section :)
I gotta watch it now and get back to the comments! Oh my! I saw my friends on FB started using that last photo as their FB cover and I was like: Who is that guy? Nice pic though! 😆
I'll wait for you right here, lemme know what you thought of it!
Yeah I kinda like that pic too, it reminded me of a Martin Scorsese movie.
Cheers!
Did you see my bullet points 🤣
Damn, that sucks. I was really hoping that it would be good but I kind of figured that it would be shit. The first movie was amazing - mind opening and life changing in a way, as you mentioned. But then the movies went downhill from there. They became nothing more than a continuous action sequence that got boring really fast, with a bad storyline trying desperately to hold it all together but failing to do so, and of course some random philosophy ideas thrown in for... I don't know, "old times sake," I suppose.
We were planning on seeing "Resurrection" in theaters but I think I'll wait to get a downloaded copy lol.
Thanks for the heads up. Good review. I liked the bullets point 🤣
Yeah dude, I would be super surprised if you come back telling me that you enjoyed it.
Hahaha I am happy you enjoyed the bullet points, nothing better that a bunch of them to set the mood.
I am still dumbfounded on how bad it was. Seriously, such a pity because there would have been some amazing things to do, if someone would have taken the time to think of some clever shots like the first movie had, instead of this nonsense
It's like there were no storyboard...
Yeah it sucks when that happens but it seems to almost be standard in movies these days. Most are crap I think. For the past few years, even before covid lol.
Did you happen to see Dune? If so what did you think of that?
Ugh... what a tragedy, to drive a nail into this particular film's coffin. Almost everything they've made over the last two years-- and continue to produce at a nauseating pace-- is TERRIBLE, so maybe we need to start using asterisks next to these aberrations. I'll still watch this film eventually... but... ugh. lol
I don't know what to say, I wish it wasn't true, I wish someone would have said "STOP" before it even was an idea, but this shit is real, and this is the reality we live in, with a Matrix 4 that sux. I am sure there is a reality with a good one hahaha.
And as you said, I know we all are going to watch that trainwreck haha, it's quite enjoyable to see the industry trying to survive, and making all the wrong decisions, also everyone is going full political, it reminds me of the comics in the 40s with Captain America against the Nazis.
We live in a strange world...
Thanks for the warning!
Tooo late I just watched it yesterday.
And?
I'm stuck being nostalgic and being disappointed , that they would take something so beautiful ended and try to breath life into it just for the sake of money .People don't understand the fundamental of the term trilogy and the beauty of the END, as vision said " A thing isn't beautiful because it lasts". its beautiful because we loved it while it lasted and now its over.
That is so true! You're right on point!
You better watch out!!! 😃 You're welcome!
I blame it on the Boogie......In all seriousness, I wouldn't have dared to see this movie for fear of exactly what you've just typed! You wasted your money so I don't have to. I salute you Mr Privat for your sacrifice to humanity.
Hahaha who said that I paid for it 😄
You are most welcome, I guess you can still watch it, but in an ironic manner, the same way people watch "The Room" to get a good laugh.
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Dude it's the second time that you remind me of this, I am sorry I forgot. It's done of course, no problem, and good job!
I will watch it if only for the nostalgia and to see Carrie Ann and Keanu together again. I have to say that when I first watched the Matrix back in the day I had mixed feelings because it borrowed many elements from things I already knew yet to be tagged the most innovative film ever. The green raincode comes from the animated movie of Ghost in the Shell it even has the Japanese characters. The chosen one to be able to realize that it is in a virtual reality and kind of men in black was also part of a series called Lain an aesthetically it was very similar. And lastly I had watched "dark city" a movie which has practically the same plot although they're very different movies in aesthetics but not so different in concept. In the sequels the monsters were very similar to japanese nausicä and overall there were many characteristic elements from anime that you could actually point out which was not denied by the directors I became a beloved classic because it looked good and it was way entertaining. I liked the first one better than the sequels and I will give this a chance though it seems to be a love it or hate thing and I find all opinions absolutely divided, will it be red pill or blue pill
Yes! Influenced by Ghost in the Shell, which is amazing, but also you're right to mention Dark City. Also, I would mention Akira, and even Metropolis, equally as important in my opinion.
I didn't know about Lain, I will check it out, it looks pretty cool, I think the concept of "Ghost In The Machine" was Descartes idea, and also in Arthur Khoestler book of the same name, and of course Gilbert Ryle.
As for the way you will feel about this "Matrix", I'd rather be fully honest with you, and I don't even think it's as good as the bad ones haha. It felt like a straight to DVD movie, really badly done!
Oh Akira is a classic and more even in the comics, iconic score too I will wait for a free stream of the new Matrix installment.
By the way the intro if a ghost in the shell is precisely a marriage song between a maiden and god and represents union of the ghost (soul) and shell (machine). One of my most invisible videos but did this last year out of lockdown fun with my phone
Yeah I had the same haircut as Tetsuo, and a scarf during my teen years haha. Big fan, it was super violent come to think of it.
THe video was dope Priscilla, as usual, quality! You did the music prod?
There is really not much in that production though, just a taiko, a pad, a shaker and vocals. But yes I did it, I usually produce my own music. I always hand it to hector for a listen and to review the master, but not even in this one cos it was a candid cover, I actually use some cheesy effects hahaha and recorded the whole thing on my phone XD on a minitripod LOL (lockdown boredom). Yes Akira is great, and the comics more even, THAT ENDING (in the comics). And official, we're officially both geeks hahah XD
I heard they were considering to make a live action Akira, but an american one and I have mixed feelings about that.... It's neotokyo after all... the only thing that'd justify it would be to get the story through the missed ending.
I actually don't remember the ending in the movie, I do remember the one in the comics, that was just epic! I don't want a live action AKira, please don't do it!
Yes, we are huge geeks hahaha. It's a good thing right?
Something simple doesn't mean it isn't complex, if it makes any sense lol. Tasteful production is hard to do.
I honestly do not want a live action movie either. At least the animated movie had the same looks from the comic, and yes I agree at the ending of the comics was way more Epic it felt like the movie was cut short maybe because it was expensive to be made or something. And thanks I made the Ghost in the Shell almost by improvisation, I usually very picky when producing my own songs but when I'm doing covers I tend to be more candid. Hector is always encouraging me to make a song with only two tracks but I usually fail and start to overcomplicate things sometimes. Anyway one of my resolutions to make a cappella song, only voices and vocal effects.
Happy new year
It seems very disrespectful of you to speak of a creator like that. I didn't read the whole post, but the beginning is really offensive. No matter how bad a movie is, you should at least be respectful. Lana has a journey that you will never have in your life, starting there. The creation of any audiovisual takes time, that is something that is a gift if you take into account the time of life that we have. I recommend that if you are going to create content talking about other creators, you do it more humbly.
I have no idea what you are rambling about, especially if you didn't read the post. It feels very ideological from your side, but you are entitled to your opinion. Cheers!
Obviously the ego does not let you see. If I have my right to express myself, why mutate? Obviously you only like good comments. I didn't need to read the whole post if you compare the movie to a fungus on the creator's feet. I want life to show you that humility is the way.
I muted you to make sure we don't cross path ever again, your comment isn't hidden, and everyone can see it, upvote it if they want. I did not downvote your content, or comment, like you did with mine. Again, good luck to you, and I wish you the best! Cheers!