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Many smart kids grow up hearing the phrase “you’re so smart,” a distinction that tends to shape their identity. Initially, this label instills confidence, making them feel exceptional and ahead of their peers. They often find academic success comes easily to them, reinforcing the idea that being smart is a core part of their self-worth.
However, the praise for intelligence can have a hidden cost. Children begin to internalize that success should come effortlessly; if they struggle, it may feel like a personal failure. This leads to a fear of taking on challenges or embracing new experiences that could threaten their perceived intelligence. As they avoid these difficulties, their world begins to shrink, narrowing their experiences and opportunities for growth.