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“I had to look my own mortality in the eye; I had to come nose to nose with death,” he writes. This confrontation with his mortality forced him to reconsider who he was beyond his titles. As he underwent treatments, the realities of his situation became painfully clear: he could no longer fulfill the roles he cherished—being a supportive husband, an active father, or even a caregiver to his beloved land.
The Struggle for Identity
Van Der Beek's struggle with identity during this time was profound. “If I am just a two skinny weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?” he questioned. This existential inquiry highlighted a pivotal moment in his journey, as he grappled with feelings of helplessness and vulnerability.