To him he might think that he's only telling you the truth. My dad most times will be mean when conveying his message to my brothers and I came to believe that's normal for African parents but that is definitely not an excuse for your uncle to talk down on your health challenge especially now that you are mourning. There is surely a more respectable way to drive home his point to you without hurting your feeling. Just a case of adding salt to one's injury.
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Well I don't think I've learned anything from him other than rebuff and rebuke, I accept that that's how external/extended family are, I just find it really hurting that he's doing it when I'm mourning.