The other day, a good friend of mine shared a video that features a young boy who is bedridden and covered with bandages from head to toe. The emotional interview left me thinking about the degree to which we all suffer, and the importance of perspective.
John suffers from a rare genetic disorder called epidermolysis bullosa (BD), which causes his skin to be very fragile and blister easily. From the day he was born, his skin has been falling off his body, and his condition has been getting progressively worse.
Unless a cure for BD is discovered, John's prospects for the future are rather bleak, and his daily activities are extremely limited. To make matters worse, his father, who had been supported him throughout this ordeal, passed away in 2023 due to a rare disease.
Reframing Hardship
Imagine for a moment that you were in John's situation. Aside from missing your father, how much would you cherish the mere ability to walk from the living room to the bathroom, or the chance to spend a single day of your life letting your skin breath freely, without the constant pain of sores all over your body?
Most of us can walk fairly well, and have relatively healthy skin. But when we wake up in the morning, do we give thanks for our skin and our mobility, or do we take them for granted? After watching the interview, you may feel a sense of gratitude for these basic bodily functions. I know that I did, at least for a while.
But sure enough, after a few hours or days pass by, our focus shifts from deep gratitude to increasing dissatisfaction. We may start thinking about that boss we hate, the tax bill we cannot afford to pay, or that pesky social anxiety we can't seem to shake off. And while our suffering is very real, we tend to lose perspective on it.
Consider a homeless man living in the slums of a Bangkok, for example. These souls live in squalor and receive little assistance. Without a roof over his head, or knowing when his next meal will be, we would say that this person is indeed suffering. However, unlike John, at least he can walk down the road and feed himself with his own hands.
Now think of a vagrant living somewhere in the developed world, a person who society would also consider to be suffering. Compared to the man in the third world ghetto though, this person actually has it pretty good when you take into account the government is providing him with emergency shelter, meals, and access to free healthcare.
Inner Peace
What about those who are above the poverty line? Many homeless people (and homeowners too, for that matter) probably think that their suffering would cease if only they had more money and success. But even rich and famous people seem to be desperately struggling.
Take the former lead singer of Linkin Park, for example. Despite the fact that Chester was able-bodied, rich, and famous, there was something deep within him triggering pain. Compared to John, Chester seemed to have everything, and yet his intense suffering caused him to ultimately take his own life.
Going full circle back to the original story, is there anyone in the world who may be suffering worse circumstances than John?
The song "One" by Metallica comes to mind.
The lyrics describe a young soldier who was severely injured by a landmine in war. Like John, the man is bedridden. However, the man also cannot see, hear, or speak, totally preventing him from communicating with the outside world. Could someone in John's position be grateful for at least having the ability to communicate with friends and family?
Ultimately, there will always be somebody in a better or worse situation than ourselves. If we take that perspective, we will be more grateful for what we have, and our suffering may be lessened.
Until next time...
Who suffered more? Chester Bennington, the homeless men, John, or the disabled soldier? It's tough to say without stepping into their shoes and experiencing their pain firsthand. But it's clear that we can cause ourselves a lot of misery when we manage to convince ourselves that we are living under the worst circumstances.
The next time you're having a bad day, or starting to descend into a mental spiral, try to recall John's situation, and you may find yourself feeling more gratitude than dissatisfaction.
If you learned something new from this article, be sure to check out my other posts on crypto and finance here on the Hive blockchain. You can also follow me on InLeo for more frequent updates.
Resources
Interview With John [1]
Video Featuring John's Father [2]
Bangkok Homeless Man [3]
Chester Bennington Photo [4]