I have a group of people I work out with at the gym and after a few months, we are no longer just a workout buddy. We are now more than that, We’ve been going out together to eat and also planning vacations together but anytime they invited me to a nightclub I didn't normally show up. It is not as if I had anything against them, but all of them love alcohol and anytime we are working out together they all express their soft spot for alcohol some of them even smoke, I don’t do and if I should go to a nightclub with them, I might want to be forced to do it because most drunker or smokers started from imitating a friend.
There is always pressure on us to do what our friends are doing, and higher pressure to do what our friends are doing in a gathering, especially where they all motivate you to do what you don’t like. When you satisfy your craving, your brain will get a reward which means you’ve already registered it to your brain and any time you find yourself in a place where they are smoking, you will find it difficult to resist the urge. Most bad behavior starts this way, somebody will make you try it, and after that attempt, you begin to crave it m. Is it a must you drink alcohol or smoke before you socialize?
Say No and be free
When everybody I work out with finds out that I don’t drink and smoke, most of them are shocked. At first, it looks as if we're not going to get along but as time goes on anytime we need a gathering they will be the ones to say “ he doesn't eat this or take that, don’t give it to him”. They know I don’t smoke, or drink and I was able to build a good relationship with them. I believe the major problem of people is because they want to satisfy everybody and they want people to see them for what they are not, letting a lot of problems, contradictions, and pain into their life. They find it difficult to create good relationships with people and they do things they are not comfortable with.
You don’t have to drink and smoke before you socialize. I believe the goal here is not to judge anybody and let them do what they know how to do and don’t compromise your character in the process. Learn how to say no to things that you don’t want to do, people who want to be your friend will always stay regardless of what you do. This is where people get it wrong, We believe we must do what everybody is doing before they accept us which is wrong. It’s just a trap and it is one of those beliefs we must never have for us to grow in life.
Thanks for your time.
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Aww, I’m proud of you and yes, like you said in your title, we should be in charge! If not in charge of anything, at least yourself.
I think you should not let their behaviours intimidated you. You can still sit with them at night club but yet still never do what there do