Just saw this @josediccus and am so sorry to to hear about the loss of your mother, and wondering if sharing about the first (and so far only) death I've experienced in my family might be of assistance to you in your time of mourning.
Unlike you, I was the second-born in the family with an older sister, but was considered the "smart one" of the kids. I was never close to my mother who blamed my birth for making her an outcast in the family and the neighborhood, as my birth was the second illegitimate child she had in a row, and from a different man just one year apart from my sisters birth.
This caused a scandal for my grandmother as they were willing to forgive one "mistake" (the birth of my older sister from an unmarried mother) but two births like that shamed the family and made my grandmother seem unable to control her wild daughter.
My grandmother lost her prized seat in the front of the church and ended up being first forced by the pastor to sit in the back of the church in shame, before being driven out altogether. He actually pointed her out during a church service and ordered her to pick her things up and move to the back of the church in front of the entire congregation, while telling them about her raising a daughter with "loose" morals.
She was shamed in front of everyone. Then the neighborhood shunned her. This caused a lifelong rift between my mother and grandmom, and mom blamed me for making her the black sheep of the family. Thus she's hated me ever since, so my grandmother actually acted more as my mother.
So when my grandmother passed, it was as if my mother had passed.
I remember the day. it was 7:30 PM, and a sudden feeling of calm came over me. A few hours later my sister arrived to tell me the awful news, but I'd already suspected it. The odd thing is that I was never able to weep over her death, as I was sleeping when she died and in my dreams she was smiling and telling me that she was all right.
I spoke to my aunt, and she agreed that it was grandmom's way of letting me know that I was not to worry. Not only did I get the calming sense that she was alright, but that she was in fact thriving in the place that she was. And that I was not to be concerned at all, but instead be at peace that her pains in life were gone, and that of course i would see her again!
So that's how I handled the death of my true "mother." Her passing was sudden and unexpected, but to this day I know she's happy and filled with joy and that I will get to see my beloved grandmother again, as this conclusion of life is not the end, but the start of a new beginning. Hope this helps you find some peace in your loss as I did in mine.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I'll take the time to reflect on it, I might certain fight it soothing when I've finally begun to see my experience in what you've gone through. Thank you again