Feeling Shame means we should either ask for pardon or change our behavior. Ultimately, it's an endeavor by our fundamental values to increase our chances of success moving forward.
Acknowledging those feelings, what would happen if we begged pardon or modified our behavior? Guilt serves its purpose—it propels us forward—if we can absorb the lesson and apply it to like circumstances in the future. If we persuade ourselves that the mistake was so bad that a little fix wouldn't be enough, we punish ourselves by emphasizing our mistake and the damage it caused. As we hang on to our guilt, self-doubt and bad ideas surround us. This self-criticism helps us assume that we are incapable of completing the present chores and will thus keep failing terribly instead of motivating improvement. We subvert Shame's actual wish to help us grow.
