TL;DR:
- Feeling lost is COMMON, hence it is OK to feel lost
- No one has it ALL figured out
- Explore, but don’t wander too far off for too long
The Inevitability of feeling LOST
What: Moments of feeling lost can manifest at various stages, whether it be during the turbulence of puberty, the contemplative mid-life crisis, the transformative menopausal period, or the reflective phase of old age. Life-changing events such as the loss of a loved one, financial struggles, unforeseen health issues, or adapting to a new environment can also throw us off balance. In a society that often emphasizes knowing and doing the right thing, the pressure to navigate through life with certainty can lead to overwhelming feelings of aimlessness. However, it's crucial to recognize that feeling lost is not a dead end but an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
Why: Growing up, trial and error is a method often frowned upon and considered only as a last resort. The emphasis is always on knowing/doing the right thing and making the correct choices. This approach creates IMMENSE pressure to always "choose right" to avoid wasting time on jobs, opportunities, and relationships that may not be the best fit. In a rapidly changing world full of possibilities, the constant need to be well-informed and making the right decisions can be extremely overwhelming. However, we need to know that what's considered right for one person may not necessarily be right for another. One needs to feel liberated knowing that living a righteous life has varied definitions with no one-size-fits all.
How: Feeling lost shares striking similarities with depression. The sense of being unmotivated, disinterested in hobbies, and questioning the meaning of life can create a pervasive cloud of despair. Losing sight of one's identity and struggling to remember a time when life felt more aligned can further contribute to the emotional turmoil.
Good Vibes Only
- Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfilment, and
- Eliminating aspects of life that no longer serve a purpose
To lift oneself out of the depths of feeling lost, it's essential to focus on activities that generate positive energy. While this doesn't mean indulging in substance abuse, it does involve consciously seeking out experiences that bring joy. Whether an introvert or extrovert, human beings are inherently social creatures, and meaningful social interactions can provide emotional support and guidance. Once the energy levels are replenished, decluttering becomes the next crucial step. Removing things and relationships that no longer contribute positively to one's life creates space for clarity and self-discovery.
During times of feeling lost, it's crucial to remember that rock bottom is not a bottomless pit but a place with a solid foundation. It is a place where one can lay the pillars and values necessary to build the life one desires. Embracing the challenges that come with feeling lost becomes an opportunity for self-improvement and personal growth. It's a chance to reassess one's priorities, values, and aspirations, paving the way for a more authentic and purposeful life.
Laying your own Headstone
All that is gold does not glitter; Not all who wander are lost. The old that is strong does not wither. Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
These words encapsulate the essence of exploration and self-discovery. While wandering can be exciting and enlightening, there's a fine line between purposeful exploration and aimless wandering. It is acceptable to embark on a journey of self-discovery through exploration, but perpetual wandering is not sustainable. Straying too far from guidance may gradually dismantle your core identity, triggering an identity crisis. Explorations can be both scarily directionless and interestingly exhilarating. It is thus crucial to recognize when to persist in a specific direction and when to retrace your steps when your destiny is at risk. Ultimately, having a clear understanding of your aspirations, maintaining a grounded approach, and infusing purpose into each stage of life is essential.
For me, having an end in mind with the concept of laying your own tombstone serves as a powerful exercise in self-reflection. It encourages individuals to think about the 3 things they want to be remembered for – the legacy they wish to leave behind. This exercise provides a roadmap for staying grounded and purposeful throughout life's journey. While these descriptions may evolve with different stages of life, the essence should remain consistent.
3 things I want to be remembered for are: Loving Husband, Nurturing Father, Philanthropist. What’s yours?
Content above is purely my understanding and opinion at the point of publishing. It does not necessarily represent absolute accurate information but merely sharing of knowledge on my part. Comment below for any inappropriate/misinformation.
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