Just of recent, I had a one one convo with my partner and it hit me hard,i have been unaware of her struggles neglecting the very person I claim to love cherish in between trying to find self I overlooked her,what shes going through,her pains. the battles she fought and her tears .
This month while I was lost in my own world she was sinking in hers.Work had taken me over,various deadlines and pressures,she tried communicating I just do cut her off,am too occupied too please, whereas her health has bern suffering.The vibrant,happy,playful woman I love was slowly fading and funny enough I didn't even notice.
countless times she try to call my attention and to share her concerns,I do just nod and not listen,as I was busy too,I just tell her "you worry too much" "stay positive" without really hearing what she says.
I was too consumed by own goal.I became so focused on me and i dont bother abou t my partner. No good conversation, no genuine connection,no support.... Was just to carried away.
But that recent conversation changed everything. She opened up about her job was taking and the toll its taking on her.she talked about our lost connection how she felt she was alone,and about the fact that shes having an illness and its getting worse,she has dome what she could all this while alone,no one to show genuine love and sympathy, am always off,going for meeting,traveling even when am home I dont pay attends to her... I was listening with a tear filled eye,hearing and seeing those pains deep in her eyes.
Then i realized have been selfish,I realized how much have ignored her,I was guilty and regret being such a person to who i claim to love..she was in pain and had even take some time off work,how couldn't I have noticed,when last did I communicate,look her straight in the eyes....am at fault.
I started to ask more questions wamting to know and understand more better,especially about her health, the test she has done,the result and everything,I listened attentively.I couldn't justify my actions, I apologized sincerely and make new determinations,henceforth we would have good conversations,I would support her through the ups and downs,prioritize our connection,regulate my schedule and make more time for her and most importantly about her health, we would sort it together, and take steps starting now.
We lost connections,almost losing each other to sickness and depression.I will see,hear and be here for you from now henceforth, given you time, attention and all that is need for us to flourish.
Its good to pay attention, and not see it as them complaining too much or not understanding.
I learnt from this,and have decided to change, couldn't stop feeling guilty such was happening and i refused to know and see.
Pictures are mine except stated otherwise
There are various entries organized by @leogrowth.
This post is in collaboration with @hivenaija community and an entry to day 12 of #novemberinleo in #inleo,I am inviting you to also check it out,so as to partake in various interesting writing prompts.
@leogrowth made a mistake of selecting the wrong community, my apologies.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.
Feel free to follow and stop by my blog.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha