When I was working at a graphic design studio in the nineties, the owner let us pick our own job titles for business cards. I chose
One-Eyed Jack of All Trades
As I was part Macintosh production artist, part typographer, part network administrator, and part proofreader, it was fitting. Most of our clients weren’t aware of it but I also happen to have only one functioning real eye, the other is a prosthetic.
Sounds more like a terrible porn movie to me.
Need a fix, You need a visit from "One eyed Jack."
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No one need know all the details of my past . . .