Amazon MGM Studios’ bid at a Marvel-level action-comedy spectacle, the ho-ho-horrible “Red One” is a blockbuster-sized cinematic lump of coal, driven as if by narcotized reindeer on a sleigh of hideous CGI and charmless stars with only dancing dollar-shaped sugar plums on the mind. Directed by “Jumanji” reboot filmmaker Jake Kasdan and written by longtime “Fast & Furious” scribe Chris Morgan, here is a level-four naughty-lister that will make you wish Christmas were canceled altogether, a cynical, depressing holiday adventure about the abduction of a swoled-up Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons, at least seemingly amused to be in a red and white-fur-trimmed two-piece) from the North Pole.
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