When I was little, I usually hear my friends talk about how their fathers always sent money back home (the village) when they barely had enough to eat, my family was no different. There are a lot of cultures around the world and if you have not heard or or experienced Black tax, you might want to read this.
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It is the norm for an African parent to rely on their children for support in old age, and a child is considered useless if he/she is unable to support their parents in their old age. In fact, some people have a lot of children because some might be "useless" so its safe to have so many, at least some will remember to take care of them when they are old. That is black tax. The moment you get something worthwhile to do, you have to make sure everyone in the family is cared for because you are now the family's savior. Your parent's use you to brag to friends when you spend well on them, Many Africans abroad send money back home to build mansions in their family compound back home even if their finances are a mess.
Trust funds, inheritance and wealth is not new in this part of the world either, however, taking care of one's poor extended family is somehow the responsibility of the richest family member. It's a blessing for the receiver, a burden for the giver, who has to handle his/her finances alone, while taking care of loved ones. Many take up extra jobs just to keep up with needs, leading to burnout and poor health outcomes. It is sad that at the end of their careers, these family saviors end up with nothing and now become dependent on a younger successful family member and this new savior must care for the old savior's family too because he helped his family long before he was born and their family "supports" each other. By that, a new tax system begins.
Could there be other ways of helping out without being a sacrificial lamb?
I think it is quite noble to not think of just one self when one is financially buoyant. Giving should be done willingly and I also think giving cash to young people who are capable of building something for themselves just enables them to keep feeling entitled over another person's money and never actually grow, making the cycle continue.
So while I think it is almost difficult to stop black tax, especially from the older generation, setting boundaries will help younger people work for their money. Growth can be hard, As a mother, weaning a child is one of the hardest things I have had to do, because it's what my child enjoys, but I stop breastfeeding because I know my child needs more than breast milk and letting that child suffer the separation for a while even though it hurts, is what I do for their benefit in the near future.
Many people need to be weaned, I have had to stop sucking of relatives too in order to grow. it was difficult (I still accept gifts once in a while, and give out too when I can) but not dependent on anyone, and hoping to plan for retirement so I won't be burden to my children when I get old. There's no guarantee that I won't be a burden, but I want to at least try.
Thank you for reading
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