W84 Topic Entry: Music for the Masses

Hello besties from the Hive and weekenders! I'm Catalina and I'm so happy to contribute to this Topic because I really love music!

So far I'm going to mention briefly in my next post, I'm on a band myself - Nefelibata 99. But before that, I tryharder some Solo stuff witouth that much relevance but still running through my dreams.

My guitar and I. How could I even dare to hate you sometimes?

Option four

Tell us about your personal musical or singing ability, talent or experiences.

I love to play the guitar, sing and dance. I learned guitar two years ago, and I sing for almost all my life - careless to say since I was born (because we all start screaming and singing, don't we?).
So my most extended experience is singing in public and I love it. I love the vaudeville the scenario paint for me, I love the performance, dance, being one with the scene and being consume by the masses who are watching me give everything from heart and soul.
I always have been something like waving with the art. I always negate it, whatever the reason. The art and reality are so cruel each other.

Quoting myself in one of my college projects:

Sentí amor por el arte desde que era chica; mis primeros acercamientos fueron la ilustración, el escuchar música y el bailar. Recuerdo con ternura aquellos años inocentes dónde monetizar el ocio y/o el arte no era una idea viable, porque era un mundo idóneo e inocente donde los sueños y aprendizajes iban a rendir frutos en la vida adulta.
Casi una decada y media después, la perspectiva hacía todo aquello que amé y amaba, se fue deteriorando con la vida adulta. La realidad actual consta que aquello que no te genera ganancia ni placer a corto plazo, es inútil.
Aprendí a tocar la guitarra un poco antes del inicio de la Pandemia, había aprendido previamente, de hecho. Pero no contaba con los instrumentos a mano como para poder practicar casi a diario. Soy zurda, otro "impedimiento" díficil de capitalizar y monetizar. Los instrumentos y, valga la redundancia, cualquier objeto que sea para zurdos, suele salir casi el doble. La guitarra fotografiada es, de hecho, algo que me "regaló" mi tío, casi que es propia mía, los dos zurdos de la familia, con aspiraciones musicales. Algo extra a acotar es que, antes de aprender a tocar la guitarra, ya hacía canto. Por lo que cantar y tocar sincronizado fue, de alguna forma, más sencillo de aprender.
Éste objeto, ésta COSA, es aquello que más amo y odio. La dualidad de la creatividad es ya parte de mí. Amo/Odio crear, dibujar, ilustrar y componer. No llego nunca a alcanzar la perfección expectativa cual manifiesto y pongo mi esfuerzo en dar y molestar al mundo. No llego a las reproducciones que quiero. No llego a la cantidad de visualizaciones que la ilustración desearía que tenga. Aquel texto que escribí con tanto esmero y tenacidad, no va a ser leído más que por mi círculo cerrado.
Sin embargo, Amo más que Odio todo lo que hago. No deseo mercatilizar lo que hago, ni vender arte vacío, ni ser quién no creo ser. Trato de tener fidelidad a lo que construí y pretendería seguir así. Se me hace lejano monetizar estas cosas; la sensibilidad del arte, la licencia de la violencia y la terapia de ésta.

And the translation:

I felt love for art since I was a girl; my first approaches were illustration, listening to music and dancing. I fondly remember those innocent years where monetizing leisure and/or art was not a viable idea, because it was an ideal and innocent world where dreams and learning would bear fruit in adult life.
Almost a decade and a half later, the perspective of doing everything I loved and loved, deteriorated with adult life. The current reality is that what does not generate profit or pleasure in the short term is useless.
I learned to play the guitar a little before the start of the Pandemic, I had learned previously, in fact. But he did not have the instruments at hand to be able to practice almost daily. I am left-handed, another "impediment" that is difficult to capitalize on and monetize. The instruments and, excuse the redundancy, any object that is left-handed, usually comes out almost double. The photographed guitar is, in fact, something that my uncle "given" to me, almost my own, the two left-handers in the family, with musical aspirations. Something extra to limit is that, before learning to play the guitar, I was already singing. So singing and playing in sync was somewhat easier to learn.
This object, this THING, is what I love and hate the most. The duality of creativity is already part of me. I love/hate creating, drawing, illustrating and composing. I never reach the expectation perfection which I manifest and I put my effort into giving and disturbing the world. I don't get the views I want. I do not reach the number of views that the illustration would like it to have. That text that I wrote with such care and tenacity, will only be read by my closed circle.
However, I love more than I hate everything I do. I don't want to commodify what I do, or sell empty art, or be who I don't think I am. I try to be faithful to what I built and I intend to continue like this. It seems far from me to monetize these things; the sensitivity of art, the license of violence and its therapy.

(You can visit my full college project, here).

My first singing show was way back in 2017, something between the 24th october. Searching for the date, I found this funny screenshot I took myself of my dad watching me singing while I was watching him, so funny.
I remember singing "Way to Fall" from Starsailor and "Deja Vu" from Gustavo Cerati. And pretty much being so nervous about performing in public in a stage just for me.

So this means one thing, at age 18, I found my first stage performance a total fiasco and didn't bother to save any images or ask photos or whatever. Can't think of an actual reason, honestly. But I have this screenshot of this weird watching-you-watching-me situation so its kinda funny, I guess.

fastforward in the same year, I made another performance. I singed "Sweet dreams are made of these" and two other songs I can't remember. I can explain the why: in this performance, I was struggling with cardiac problems. It was kinda odd in that stage of my life but later it was something normal, I have alergies when I have high levels of stress in whatever situation I'm into and this was a start. Nothing serious, actually, but in that time, in that especific time of me performing in a lowkey bar with people don't even watching a me, was a very big deal.

The 10th of december was my last performance that year and I remember that with so much pain and hatred. No one listened to me - besides my parents. That time my dad decided to film myself so awfully by the situation, he also filmed how I was losing my voice in stage.
Also my high school friends mocked at me for my poor performance.
And look at that fucking stage. I was just singing to some random old dude laughing about something I wish it wasn't me while eating fried chicken.

But this awful situation didn't broken my dreams. I stayed strong.

The 16th of december, 2018 I reached the stage once again and for the first time of my life, I was in a camerino.

I performed "Cirice" by Ghost and "Venus" by Bananarama. Two opposites songs but kinda funny to mix up.
I was so distante from the stage this time, that the photos they taken from my performing, are a looklike of a shitpost.
I'm going to share here anyways.

This could be something straight from a shitpost if you have the audacity

also this, but I look more humanoid

Epic fastforward to 2021: the start of something new.

Being or starting a band of something obviously new for me. And it's amazing.
I took a very great inspiration from my idols, specially from Ian Curtis.

the 24th of december, was the first time I photographed a band I was absolutly stunned by the performance. Reacheable sceneario, cool people and a chill space.

I'm reserving the HQ pictures for a post later

So I was thinking, "I already know the basics of guitar, should I try?" YES! YES I SHOULD!!!

Mesa de trabajo 2.png

The 23th october was the first time we assembled together so we keep going! This story continues for long, I hope.

So far we have a small page you can visit and I hope you stay for more updates and music!

Btw I have and abandoned solo project, but I have a special song I really love: All We Ever Wanted, a cover from Bauhaus. Pretty sure this could mean something. I really hope so!