Hi - I am new to this, but I plan to regularly post a Journal Entry here regarding my emotional state. I prefer not to give too many details about my personal life, but maybe I will in time. I am working on my mental health, and writing has helped immensely. I hope my posts can inspire others who could benefit from the practice and do the same. I appreciate your interest and support.
Saturday 2023 04 15
Today, I find myself in a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions. I feel lost in a maze, desperately trying to find a way out. Every turn seems to lead me deeper into confusion and uncertainty, leaving me disoriented and overwhelmed. It's as if I'm wandering aimlessly, searching for clarity and direction, but the path ahead remains obscured.
Adding to my distress is the persistent struggle to find motivation or joy. The things that once brought me happiness now seem distant and unattainable. Despondency weighs heavily on my heart, like a dark cloud casting a shadow over my thoughts and actions. It's as if I'm trapped in a pit of despair, feeling defeated and crestfallen, with a deep sense of hopelessness that is hard to shake.
But amidst the overwhelming sense of disorientation and despondency, another emotion surges within me - lividness. I am consumed by a potent mix of anger, frustration, and outrage. It feels like a fire burning inside me, fueled by a perceived injustice or betrayal. I am fuming with anger, unable to contain the intense rage in my veins. The sense of indignation and resentment is palpable, adding another layer of complexity to my already tumultuous emotional state.
In this moment, I feel like I'm navigating through a storm, trying to find my way in a sea of emotions. The conflicting feelings of being lost, struggling with despondency, and being livid create a whirlwind of emotions that leaves me feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. It's as if I'm caught in the midst of a turbulent emotional storm, and I'm desperately trying to find a sense of calm and clarity amidst the chaos.
Reflecting on these emotions, I realize they are intertwined and interconnected. The feeling of being lost and disoriented fuels my despondency, and the anger and outrage I feel add another layer of intensity to my emotional state. It's a complex web of emotions that I am grappling with, and I acknowledge that it's okay to feel this way. I give myself permission to experience and process these emotions in my own time and in my own way.
In this moment, I'll take a deep breath and allow myself to acknowledge and honor these emotions. I'll give myself the space to feel and express them, whether it's through writing, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in self-care. I'll remind myself to be patient and compassionate as I navigate this emotional storm, knowing that it's okay to not have all the answers right now. I'll hold onto the hope that with time and reflection, I will find my way out of the maze, rediscover my motivation and joy, and find healthy ways to channel my anger and frustration.