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Ladies and gentlemen, what you see before you is not a broken-down old banger but an entirely unmodified vintage, early '60s classic with all original working parts. As is evident, my bodywork is exceptionally good with a few minor imperfections hardly perceptible to the visually impaired.
I am an individual of great determination and perspicacity and pride myself on always getting the job done, by hook or by crook. I can duck and dive like a pro and have been around the block so many times that I know all the shortcuts and how to use them. I can cook a book as expertly as I can cook an egg...and I boil a pretty mean egg.
I have experience in a myriad of fields and can turn my hand to anything. I will step up and get even the nastier jobs done while others are just putting on their Marigolds, having once been employed as a Zimmermädchen scrubbing 25 lavatories a day.
Speaking 3 languages fluently, with some aptitude in several more, and renowned as I am for my discretion, I make a perfect travel companion or personal and very private secretary.
I have spoken before audiences of hundreds and though I am no sesquipedalian, my eloquent turn of phrase has left many in awe of my honorificabilitudinitatibus.
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I grow a superb cucumber, can wire a plug, catch a chicken and do 50 pushups, should the need arise. I sing a rousing version of 'Oh come all ye faithful' and in the right rig-out, on a dark night, I can look a million dollars.
You may regard me as old fangled and dated but, as my mother used to say, 'there's good goods in battered old parcels'. And sure aren't people so judgemental these days. I can tell just by looking at them.
I leave you now to consider my application and whatever you decide, decide in my favour.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's weekend experience challenge asking you to Do a sales pitch of yourself.
The images are my own
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All you need is the right words to make you attractive... 😂
If I could just work out what the right words are!:)
give me two please!, 😂 well this version is unique so I don't think I can carry two 😊, excellent sales description 🥰
Thank you kindly m'dear. I thoroughly appreciate your appreciation.
I'm buying😄, even if that stuff is only half true.
There's not a word of a lie there...honestly!
😂
Good pitch! I'm not buying, as I also have vintage all original parts property to sell. At first I was more impressed with the looking a million bucks on a dark night, but now I think the visually impaired are my best bet... Not that the dark wouldn't help in my case, but there's only so much time one can spend in the dark. At some point, the poor bugger will want to turn on the lights... On the other hand, I'd stay away from the legally blind... what with using their fingers all the time, I'm afraid they might catch on to those minor imperfections.
What? Are you telling me that you're the only other human without a tattoo or piercing? Well fan my brow if I've not come across a miracle.
As to the minor imperfections, once you allow the light on sure it's all over:)
I'd buy you! Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Sesquipedalian. I happen to know what that means, idk why, but I do. Did you have to look it up, or are you, after all, a sesquipedalian?
Haha, no! I didn't have to look it up. I was in the legal profession for many years and you know what those buggers are like.
A new revelation from deirdyweirdy! In the legal profession? Do I already know this?
Don't worry. I am instantly forgettable.
Hardly. Did you listen to that sales pitch about yourself?
I did, but believed only half of it:)
When a person has a habit of working daily, even if he is getting older, he continues to do that work daily due to this habit and it also keeps our health good and I myself also really like to eat Burger's.
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STOPWith a lot of effort!
😄
You're surely the most appreciative audience a person could wish for:)