“Can’t your phone wait a minute too?” These were the cold words from my 6-year-old daughter and the words hit me like an uppercut from Floyd Mayweather. I have been struggled with guilt all through the weekend. They are words of accusation from my daughter and they are TRUE!
My daughter, my dad, and my sister
How it started
As a usual practice, I would spend the entire Saturday with my family and we all get to gist each other how our weeks went after breakfast. This is because my weekdays are quite tight. I get home around 7 pm, giving me only 2 hours to play with my kids as they go to bed by 9 pm.
That’s why I have dedicated most part of my weekends to my wife and kids. Last Saturday, Ibijoke, my older kid told me about Ruth, her new friend and seat partner at school. Of course, it was obvious that she likes Ruth and I had no problem with that. But trouble began when she called Ruth her best friend!
How can that happen? I asked her straight – If Ruth is your best friend, who am I? And she answered, my former best friend! It was a knock out. I have been my daughter’s best friend since Day 1 and I am not ready to relinquish the position for her mom or anybody.
To add insult to my injury, my daughter went on to accuse me of being the one that chose a new best friend first. I instantly asked her how? “Ibijoke, how and when did I choose a new best friend? And who’s my new supposed best friend?” In response to my litany of questions, she calmly dropped the bombshell!
The bombshell
She said, daddy, your new best friend is your smartphone! She explained further that she expected me to spend more time with her as my best friend but I keep spending more time fiddling with my phone. When I wake up, the first thing I check is my phone. I play with my phone while in bed, I only drop it when I begin to feel sleepy. Indeed, I am guilty of that, but it never occurred to me that my daughter or anyone had a problem with that. In fact, I didn’t know I was overdoing it.
Here is the worst part – in her exact words – Daddy, when you’re playing with me and your phone rings or beeps, you’ll tell me to give you a minute and you’ll run to get the phone. And when you’re with your phone and I call you, you’ll tell me to give you a minute. I am always the one giving you a minute. __Can’t your phone wait a minute too?
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I had never felt so speechless and indefensible in my life. Ibijoke said it all. Even the best attorney in the world won’t be able to turn this case in my favor. The little angel proved her case beyond reasonable doubt.
Ruth, her new best friend, isn’t the problem. I am! Even my wife (her mom) couldn’t bail me out. Even though I knew she was right, I tried to hang on to a couple of excuses, but I hit a brick wall. It was either my pot of excuses suddenly dried up or there was no excuse at all.
The only thing that made sense at that moment was for me to tender my apologies, and I did.
When my kids mounted a horse for the first time, several years ago
The silver lining
When my daughter saw how sorry and sad her words had made me, she decided to give me a lifeline. She said I can still be her best friend if I promise to spend less time with my phone and more time with her. You bet I didn’t allow her to finish her sentence before I started dishing out promises and apologies like Halloween candies. And as the first redemption step, I turned my phone off for the rest of the weekend (Saturday and Sunday).
How do I walk my talk?
There’s a problem, though. Yes, I am super sure that I want to regain my #1 position in my daughter’s life, but I’m not too sure I am ready to stay off my phone for too long. I am in a dilemma right now. I am a freelance writer who loves to reply emails as quickly as possible. I use many apps on my phone on a daily basis. For instance, I read my bible from my phone every morning, I check dictionary app every now and then, I pay bills and make banking transactions on my phone. Most importantly, I stay in touch with my social media peeps on my phone too.
I believe that my apologies and promises will be empty ones if I don’t change my bad phone habit. So, I need to walk my talk on this. Furthermore, I want to quickly regain and retain my #1 position in Ibijoke’s life. Quite frankly, the accusation marred my entire weekend. How am I supposed to balance things now? I’ll definitely find a workaround. I’m sure about that!
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