I have always been a hopeless romantic. I love deeply, passionately, and with all my heart. But every time I let myself love like that, I have been burned. It seems like I always end up with someone who doesn't care for me as much as I care for them.
My first real relationship was particularly painful. I gave everything I had to that girl, but she grew tired of me.
I think she tried to force herself to love me, but it just wasn't there. I was left heartbroken and feeling like a fool for giving so much of myself to someone who didn't appreciate it.
I also developed a strong suspicion of women that is hard to shake off now. I have been afraid of building relationships. I don't want to feel that pain again. It's something I have thought and drank about.
I used to be scared that I would lose control of myself and give too much of myself to someone who didn't deserve it again. I even started to avoid people who reminded me of her.
I met someone new, someone who seemed to genuinely care for me. At first, I was hesitant to let myself love her. I was afraid of being hurt again. But as I got to know her better, I found myself falling for her despite my fears.
However, our relationship hit a rough patch when I started to show the same behavior that had caused problems in my previous relationship. I started pouring in energy with skepticism, then came long distance to show her true nature, and mine as well.
She didn't like to call, and I was getting attention from other girls. It's hard to keep it together when you are convinced your partner doesn't love you or just sees you as something worth holding on to and not loving.
I messed up yet another relationship. Why do I keep doing this to myself?
I guess I'll trying to match energy or and not force love where there isn't any. It's all in my head. If someone loves me for me and I love the person how I can, I think they should learn to appreciate that.
There is this other girl who seems to be head over heels for me. I don't want her to expect too much from me, and I don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past. But I also know that I can't keep avoiding relationships in the future.
I am also more focused on figuring out what I really want in a relationship and doing my part to make it work. I realize that I need to find a way to balance my emotions and love without losing myself.
This story sort of makes it into two of the writing prompts because I regifted a watch to one of my first ex-girlfriends, and I always felt like she wished it had come from someone else. Someone she wished I was but could never be.
I know that building a long-lasting relationship is scary, but I also know that it's worth it. People in loving relationships live longer. It's life added to your life.
What did you learn from your previous relationships that helped you find balance in your current relationship? What role did your past experiences play in shaping your current view of love and relationships?
Normally I have grown to an extent where I can kill my likeness for a girl, especially when things go wrong. I believe what endears me to love someone is their efforts and sacrifice. I don't like people by default, because it's cantankerous. This is why it's easy to detach myself. Things like looks don't get to me, I love with my an open mind, doing otherwise makes us illogically compromised.
I need to learn to love with my mind open. I typically close all the doors and take whatever little she gives for a run. I'll learn anyway...it takes time...
Thanks for stopping by
In my previous relationship i learnt to be more intention about my feelings and I learnt to define my relationship in order to avoid heart break.
Never to expect too much and not to expect perfection.
Sometimes we become so distracted looking for something that isn't for us,that lady you feel is head over heels for u?give her Ur time and attention and see how amazing love is.
Just nurturing it, allow it to grow.
I will...my attention is so divided now. I hope my best is good enough.
I'm happy you have a lot of good come out of your past relationships...
Hope you are having a nice weekend
Well, in my previous relationship I learned that I didn't know as much as I thought I did.
I was humbled, simply put.
Definitely learning and unlearning everyday. And I know I'll get it right.
P.S: Stop running away from love 😁.
💪💪lol, humbled seems like an adjective I would use for a relationship couch who didn't have things work out for her. Is that you?
I'll do my best not to. But the person has to give me very good reasons to stay, I am beginning to see that sometimes love is not enough.
I wouldn't say relationship coach but I thought I knew. Nothing prepared me for the rollercoaster lol.
'Love is not enough'.
This statement. I find myself agreeing and disagreeing with this statement every eke market day.
Yeah, I feel you. Relationships are not easy...
What part of 'love is not enough' do you disagree with?
I think that the whole idea that if I selflessly gave myself to one person...that's all my time and resource a lot would be in question. What about other people, what about work and how do I build myself? The questions would first come from that person.
I see two sides to it.
Love is enough. Yes.
Because at the end of the day, it's your love for the said person that will keep y'all together. You can't be with someone you don't love. To start with.
Love is not enough. Yes.
Because you'll have to do more than just 'having the feelings'.
You'll choose commitment. Choose peace. Choose that person everyday.
So you don't just say, "I love her". You'll have to do more than that.
Yeah yeah yeah...like I said I get you.
It just starts to seem like a contradicting thought when you say Love is a feeling and a commitment at the same time. It's either one or the other.
It's like saying motivation and discipline are the same. You can feel motivated to choose peace in your relationship but your discipline is not being challenged at the time.
If you are disciplined you on the other hand you will do it even on days you don't feel motivated.
I checked your bio...we are colleagues...em...brothers/sisters in arms 😀😀
Thank you brother, for sharing your thoughts with me.
Being in a romantic relationship is not easy at all. I tried all this stuff before but was not really working for me so I decided to go into no romantic relationship and it was cool, I enjoyed it but do feel bad when she talks about her romantic relationship with another man and yet I still tell myself no I'm not ready for this heart play. It's never easy at all dealing with the opposite sex.
I do commend those in it because they are trying to keep to it. I just wish I can get into one romantic relationship this year let me try my luck again. But for now I'm free like just free without thinking about anything.