This is my very first tattoo...
It is funny because since I was a child I hate needles. When it came the time for me to get some blood tests I always got nervous, and I even cried. My mother used to laughed at me because of it. Still today, I don't like to get blood tests done. For that reason I had never wanted tattoos either. Me fear sometimes overwhelmed me, and I even avoided vaccines because I always got scared of needles.
So you may be thinking: How did you get the strength to get a tattoo?
Well, I got this tattoo on December 24th in 2019. The story behind it is this. My little sister gave birth to a little girl who would be my third niece (I have two more nieces from my middle sister) on July 10th of the same year. Sadly, she passed one month later of her birth. She was born with a cardiomyopathy that was not detected during my sister's pregnancy and her heart didn't develop correctly. She would be need multiple surgeries but still doctors weren't sure if she would make it. At the end, she didn't survive.
At home, we were sad and we didn't know what to do or say. My sister was far in Colombia, sick with bronchial-pneumonia, in pain and devastated because she lost her first daughter. I cried in silent for so many nights and sad because we weren't with her when she needed us the most. But we didn't have the money to go to Colombia and it was hard for us just to stay here, stuck feeling useless.
So, in December I got some money and I had this thought on my mind that I wanted to do something to get my niece close since I couldn't meet her. I went to a tattoo studio and decided to get one. The one in the picture is the Cancer Constellation. She was born in July, so her zodiac sign was cancer, so I looked for her constellation and decided to get it on my forearm and I also added her name Hayley.
So this is the story of my first tattoo. When I showed it to my sister she didn't believe it and she cried a lot. It didn't hurt and later I got three more tattoos. I guess I got the like for them.
PS: I almost cry again while writing this.
PS 2: This is the only picture I have of my niece.
What a tragic story this is...so sad. I'm sorry that this happened to your family.
I think you have honoured her well and I like that you will carry her with you forever.
Thank you for sharing this personal story in my community and for the #weekend-engagement concept.
Thanks for reading it. We don't talk about it because it's a hard topic and we always end up sad. However, time heals and now we know my little niece is somewhere in the universe looking after us. Like you say, this was my way of honored her.
I can understand how hard it would be to talk about, such a tragic loss of a little life. This is why I feel it's brave of you to open up on it here. I respect that greatly.
Thank you, @galenkp. I really appreciate it. Have a good weekend. ;)
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful little girl. This was so difficult to read and then the image at the end; so touching. Thank you for sharing this.
Becca 😓
Thanks for reading. Sometimes we just need to be truly honest about some topics. For me, it's hard to see her photo, I want to cry every time I see her.
Thank you so much.
Your family history made me cry. I also had a cousin who was born with heart disease and they operated on him a few months after he was born and unfortunately he did not resist the operation. It was very hard for my aunt, who was her first and only child. I lived with her in that time because of my studies and it was so difficult.
I send you a big hug, thank you for doing this tribute in your body to always remember your niece 💕
I can't imagine how hard was for your aunt and for you to go through such a sad situation. Still today I don't know what to say to my sister.
Thank you so much for your words. I was about to cry too while writing this post because it was a while ago since I went to those memories.
I send you a hug 🤗.
Aww....jeez.
I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt losing her, and even more so your sister, the mother. Children are blessings to homes, and the joy of having them is immense. I am sorry you all had to go through that pain of losing that joy. That tatoo sure is a meaningful, and looks pretty. Hayley was a beautiful baby.
Thanks for stopping by!
Yes, Hayley was such a beautiful baby and I wish I could meet her. Thanks for your words, I really appreciate them.