There was a time I would have laughed at the supposed absurdity of the question, “Do you want to have kids?” Like why would you ask that? Of course, the answer is yes. Everybody loves kids. Everybody wants kids. Kids are adorable and all of that.
But of course, I’ve come to discover that it’s not so simple. First off, there are a lot of people that do not want kids for various personal reasons. And that, most times, those reasons are very valid. At least to them.
But I do want to have children. Said that to my pre-school teacher. Saying it now. Not more than three. And why is that? Children are beautiful gifts. Children are good. But too much of everything is bad, right? Maybe that awful statement wouldn’t have been used on a good aspect of life like children but a lot of people have abused that. And given more room for those who didn’t want children to reaffirm their decisions.
A lady came over to the house. She was a familiar face but unfortunately, a not-so-pleasant one, in the sense that seeing her didn’t give me butterflies, that’s for sure. And I’ll tell you why in a bit. I watched from the window as she approached the house. And then something drew my attention, and I gasped in horror. She was pregnant!
And while this shouldn’t for any reason be a sad surprise, but it was to me. She had a baby strapped at the back. One being held at her hip and two more walking alongside her. All under the age of four. I got outside and she sat with a smile. I felt the speech coming. And then she began. They were lines she had consistently used over the few months, I’d known her.
And the trump card, like always, came, “Just a little assistance….for the sake of the children.” And would motion them to me. I smiled. It wasn’t going to be easy for her this time. I asked one question I should have asked from the beginning. Why? Why are you pregnant again when you can barely feed these other ones? And I asked her not to please tell me that God said to go into the world and multiply, because even if that was said, pretty sure he didn’t specifically mean her.
.
She gave me an answer that shocked the hell out of me. She said that in her tribe, women were congratulated for having many kids. And when you give birth to seven, a goat is slaughtered for you. So she had to have seven or maybe one more, so she would have that goat feast. Saying I was astounded would be an understatement. So you would rather bring seven children into this cruel world to suffer because of a goat? That wouldn’t even last more than three meals?
I felt sad. But most of all, I felt pissed off. Royally mad I tell you. Did I assist her with something that day, yeah, I did. I couldn’t turn her empty-handed but rest assured, I made it abundantly clear that I couldn’t be part of this life of suffering she was voluntarily towing and that if she was determined to have that many children, she needed to work just as hard to take care of them and not burden people with decisions she made herself. Out of her selfishness. Because it’s only a selfish person, that would think about goats instead of the life she was bringing to the world.
There are so many challenges involved in the process of giving birth to a child, let alone nurturing that child. How would you be able to play an effective part in that child’s life when your attention is being divided among so many? You could try to be there for like three and are too tired as you’re only human and then get some rest. What happens to the others that need you then? Why would you rob them of the things they should have gotten?
I’d say it’s your choice. And if you have the resources to take care of fourteen, all the better. The problem is when you want people to share in the challenges of nurturing those children when they played no part in the decision-making process.
Having children is very much a long-term goal for me. I don’t think I’m ready yet because I know that in as much as they are a bundle of joy, the day-to-day activities involving them aren’t so joyful. And I wouldn’t want any child of mine to feel neglected because their parent isn’t financially, emotionally or mentally prepared for them. If you want them, work hard to give them the best. And that’s what I want to do.
This is my response to the Weekend Engagement Prompt by @galenkp.
All images are mine. (Hope you like the mother hen concept. Tried to take a better shot but little lady couldn't stay in a place. Or maybe I'm just a terrible photographer. Hah!)
Excuse my language, but that's fucking nuts. Kids aren't like one of those little fidelity cards they give you at McDonald's. All that misery for a goat? Sounds mental to me. I wonder the same, when I see people in this situation, and one argument I've heard is contraception's expensive. I mean, sure, but more so than 18+ years of supporting another human being? I highly doubt it!
I think you have a very healthy, positive approach to motherhood. It's a goal for me, too, definitely. but I love the caution and maturity you regard it with. <3 And yes, I did appreciate the mother hen analogy, personally ;)
My sentiments exactly. Didn't make sense then, makes even less sense now. It's annoying. And all I think about are those kids who did nothing wrong to deserve the life they're now mandated to live in.
Glad you were able to resonate with it. I might not have many years on me but the things you see on a daily basis tend to get you more matured than you would have have thought. And I'm happy you liked the mama hen as well.🤗🤗
7 kids huh...
So she needs 3 more ....
Waiting for that goat fest😂😂😂😂😂
No she needs two more, she's already pregnant.
You're not going to be invited to the goat thing...lol
I didn't know you were in charge of the guest list for the goat thing🌝😂😂😂
There won't be any goat thing. She'll travel to her village for it. You won't be able to come @seki1🤗
Your just against me😐😂😂
You 😆👌🏻
😂
Hey Nicki, how've you been
Yo yo!
I've been shoddy with my admin! 😂😅
How about you, angel? Happy weekend. My boy comes home today. I'm thrilled and can't wait so full power all good here :)
😂😂😂 I'm currently at half power rii now
You or the actual power?
No power here for six hours now 😕
But it's also kinda peaceful tbh :)
Me, my phone and the power...
Been no light for over 36 hours now🙂😂😂
Has your own little bundle of joy come back yet?
😂
Hey Nicki, how've you been
Hibernating!
Weather out here is powerful 👀
How's things up North? :D
Weather is pretty much confused over here😂😂😂
All over here too! 👀
Sunny with freezing wind today. And then buckets of rain half and hour later. Wear layers. Be prepared! :D
Just got beat by the rain as it was trying to decide between a drizzle or a storm😂😂😭
I also believe that babies are blessings. But before taking so many babies we should need to think several times because if we are capable or not to give them a comfortable future. If we can't then we will be responsible for the consequences later.
That's true. Children shouldn't be brought into the world to suffer so unless you're mentally and financially prepared, you shouldn't have them. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
The maths itself does not even add up. Seven children for one goat?
I thought the pain of delivery was the worst thing in the world. And let's not even talk about the whole stress of carrying a human in you for 9 months.
Then there's the question of who are the fathers and what are their responsibilities in the life of these children? Is it just to impregnate an run?
I just can't imagine how a set 9f people can be that trivial and foolish in this age and time.
But if you see when she's celebrating the goat reward, do well to reach out please
I don't know why y'all are suddenly interested in the goat.😂🤦🏽♀️
It's for her alone. And she'd have to travel to her hometown for it.
Should I buy a goat for you?
😂😂. I like traveling so that wouldn't be an issue
Have seven children and I'll travel the breadth of the world to come eat the goat
Wow....rich kids.
Why should I be the one? Why don't you have the seven children then I come visit?
Rich kids don't travel long distances just to eat goat..
Cos obviously the tradition only applies to women. If it applied to men, what is 7 children that I wouldn't have fathered by now
It doesn't😂😂
Swears, I dunno what forefathers smoked before making some traditions
Maybe, they're not educated enough to understand your point. Why would you pursue a goat and exchange your kids as the the sacrificial lambs for that kind of price? It's really not worth it in any angle. I hope she'll realize it one day, and just work hard for the kids instead.
I hope she does. It's more annoying than sad to see the illogicality of it all. Those kids deserve way better.
No she did not say this!!!😲😲
She definitely did. Bizarre stuff.
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