I was a man with full of disappointments. If I got rejected, then let it be, I won’t force and I let go. How many times I was in love. How many times I was broken. Until I found my self okay to be alone but sometimes I found out that there is something lack inside me. I have crushes, love, lusts, and attractions to women but it literally came in my way and gone. Until I enjoyed it. I found it fun, exciting, suffocating and sad. I want someone to stay, we want it. We all want it but everything is dynamic, always changing. Only lucky ones have that!
I had changed my thoughts and habit. I only want to focus in my studies instead. I did not care anyone in my surroundings, I just have this hypocrite attitude of looking straight to my goal, to graduate and got bachelors degree. Until I found this girl so familiar to my senses. What a coincidence we have the same course, she was my rival in my secondary years. We may both have no idea if we knew our names but the only thing is that we often met on events and quiz bees years ago. I have this extraordinary feelings towards her, we became best friends and a partner in crime all the time. We always sharing our school works and we had this bond of being so special. Not just because we have the same native language so that we understand each other but we knew we have the same vibes and our friendship went stronger.
Later on, I don’t know if I fall for her but she became my priority and became important to my life. We threw bad jokes, we teased each other and we share our lovelife status as well. She got boyfriends but it’s okay to me, what is important to me is that we are together often times. She got broken, I comforted her, and never confess my feelings inside just because I am a good friend and just a friend.
Although I can see something in her eyes towards on me but I did not took advantage on it. I am just staying on my poise of being her boy bestfriend. I don’t want to broke our company, it is okay to be like this because we can do what ever we want and nothing will change afterall. She is so sweet actually, I can’t help my self but to fell for her deeper. Until we have a bet, we have an agreement that we can only have our significant other when we can graduate and she will pay if she disobey the rules but the funniest thing is she cheated on our agreement. She found her boyfriend and never paid her losses. But it is okay, it is not that serious.
I only made that bet just to keep her until the perfect time. But fate is very clever and hurtful, we already knew that. I just found my self happy with her, getting along with her as her friend is okay, I am contented. I can still handle my feelings inside. The disappointments and the eagerness I had managed. What we had was never changed, this is what I wanted eventhough there is a pain and some pinches came along to my heart. Sometimes I have this thoughts of what ifs, what if I took the risk of confessing on her considering the consequences, what if I conquered my feelings and emotions? Do you think we came this far?
Before we have so called ‘four forced’ together with our two other boy friends. It so happened she was the only girl in our circle of friend. All of our status was shared to her, she was our comforter, our adviser and a counselor for our lovelife/s. Unfortunately, we got disbanded the other one refuse to continue his studies and find a job and the other one separated to us causing us two remains the ‘four forced’. And this was the beginning of our knowing each other deeply. I care for her because she was our only princess and I care for her for being a true friend during my darkest times.
I came to realize that cowardice will make you regret. That is why I came up this three decisions, first was never true to my feelings on her and NEVER CONFESSED HER. Second is to wait for her when she will be obtainble again and ready. If she will marry her lover right now or later, then the long wait is over and I will give myself up. Lastly will be marrying with her when things will become alright. People might see me as a lone person for not having a partner or a lover for a long time but they did not know what I have been, this may be a long wait but let’s just wait until it is called a PERFECT TIME.
Do not lose hope po. Sayang po talaga na di niyo sinabi yong feelings niyo pero it's okay. Just wait until she will be single again and that time, confess your feelings for her. Di pa sila ikakasal, magbi-break din sila hahahah.
Hala, grabe ka na Sydney. 😂 Kain ka muna !PIZZA
Hahahah nandito ka pala sis, Baka gusto mo basahin yung recent article ko dito 😂
Hahahaha, yun nga
Wait for a perfect time, everything had a perfect moment, just sad that you didn't confess your feelings towards here, you know the risk, sometimes we act like everything will accords in our plan but the reality is, a lot of instances that will happen and what we expect won't happen in the end. If there's a moment which she had no lover, I think you should confess to her.
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