I think you said something that made me understand a lot of what I feel when death approaches: you say you feel fear for them, for what they went through or what they are going through. Well yes, that's what frustrates me most about death.
I'm very sorry for your losses, and I think I told you once that those who live through the things you have lived through do so because they are prepared for it. Not all of us have access to this knowledge.
A hug.
Sometimes it's not fear of death... there can be fear of suffering or fear of others leaving and loneliness or something like that.
Thank you always!