Today at 3:30 in the morning, I found out via WhatsApp that the mother of a friend from university had just passed away. My friend is in Madrid and his mother's death happened far away, here in Venezuela. It is 10 o'clock in the morning, I am at work and I have not been able to close my eyes since I heard the sad news. My duty as a friend is to support her family in some way and try to give them some encouragement.
This has made me reflect on the loss of a loved one. Three years ago my mother died and I was really devastated, I felt that I had not done enough for her, that I had not helped her as I should have. I was even very upset with God for not listening to my daily prayers for my mother's health.
My mother was both mother and father to me (my womanizer father left home when I was six months old), I remember not having great luxuries as a child, but my mother never stopped working so that I would be a good man and get the best education possible. She instilled values in me along with my grandmother and my aunts, and I could say that I lived within a matriarchy.
Many times I felt overprotected, which I attribute to the fact that in my country, Venezuela, this type of situation of abandonment is very common.
Always in bad times, my mother showed a good face, was optimistic and managed to magically solve the economic problems faced by the family. She was very tenacious and persistent.
These memories have made me work my mind, brain and heart recognizing that this loved one continues to exist within me.
Sadness and depression brings a lot of pain, however I have not isolated myself from other people, and I have mitigated these feelings by remembering with friends and family the way my mother was, I talk about her and tell some anecdote where I remember her joviality. This somehow mitigates my sadness, anger, frustration and even some exhaustion.
I see my daughter and I remember my mother a lot, she inherited many traits that are familiar to me, she reminds me of that long hair she had when I was little, the way she looked, her stubbornness and tenacity. When my daughter wants something she goes to great lengths to get it. Helping her to achieve her goals, advising her and even reprimanding her when I see that she does something wrong has helped me to assume my grief, it is also something that my mother always told me and advised me; support your family.
My mother and my daughter.
My way of thinking and acting has always been driven by my mother, and this inspires me to move forward. All the actions that I do somehow mark my friends and loved ones, and when I feel that I am falling I remember all the effort and dedication of my mother to me. This cheers me up and gives me inspiration and eagerness to live, to leave a mark among those who know me and especially in my daughter and my wife.
I feel that my work as a father should honor my mother's memory, I want to be an example to follow, just as she was for me. Of course I still feel very sad about her departure, even at this moment I am thinking how difficult it is to assume a loss of this kind.
It is important to cry because it allows you to balance this bitter feeling of loss, and it prevents you from reacting against your family or friends. This helped me a lot, do not pay attention to that saying that men do not cry.
I confess that it has been difficult to write this post, however it has helped me to catharsis. Writing helps to de-stress, to dust off old memories and also serves as a mechanism to move forward and if we intend to is a vehicle that serves to mitigate frustrations, show our thoughts and realize some mistakes we have made.
I have made peace with God, I know that I must assume that at any moment I must leave this earthly plane, that is the Law of Life. At the moment I enjoy my family, and I believe that I am transmitting the values that my mother transmitted to me, and that is a source of pride for me.
This is my contribution to the initiative created by @galenkp Weekend-Engagement writing prompts: WEEK 139 Link Here.
Weekend sharing
Share your thoughts on loss: The loss of physical or mental ability, of freedom, people in your life or of opportunity or possessions. How has the loss affected you and what have you personally done to mitigate the effects and move forward? You must write 350 words or more and try to use photos you took yourself.
The image is my property and was taken with my Iphone4 cell phone.
I am sorry for the loss of your mother, my mother died about 30 years ago and it still hurts me a lot, but I try to remember all the good things she had, she lives in my memories and I know that now she is with God. Hug full of blessings
These are losses that cost a lot to assume, we have to think that those loved ones we lost wanted and want in another plane that is not the earthly that we move forward and enjoy every second with the family. Thank you for the hugs and blessings. Same to you, best regards.
Writing can be liberating at times and in my opinion has a very healing power.
Thank you for sharing this experience and these very personal thoughts. 🤗
I agree with you, writing has helped me a lot. I also exercise my brain and here in Hive I share with people from many parts of the world. Thank you very much for stopping by. Greetings.
I agree with you, writing has helped me a lot. I also exercise my brain and here in Hive I share with people from many parts of the world. Thank you very much for stopping by. Greetings.
A very beautiful post.
Great mother who has passed on to you how to be a good parent.
!LUV
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I hope that the example my mother gave me will also serve as an inspiration for my daughter. Best regards.
I know how it feels to lose a love ones mostly mother. So sorry about that I pray that God should give you the heart to beer the loose.