🍀 I have been pondering over this topic for few months till I see an opportunity to refine and share it. I saw the challenge: WE83 post topics: Your first time.
So here is my entry for the challenge, thanks @galenkp for initiating this and @trangbaby for sharing!
A while back in my endless YouTube search, I learned this term “season of aloneness”, not “season of loneliness” from a pastor in Houston. It’s exactly expressing what I need in life, it’s a chapter of life I’m embracing for the first time!
For my entire life, I have always been around other people: my parents, sister, family members and then in committed relationship. Unconsciously, I chose to be around people and they helped fill a void in my soul and probably vice versa. I realized I didn’t feel whole during the past 10, 15 years and realizing that important fact after my recent breakup has helped me so much in working towards being whole myself. That is why I deeply & strongly embrace this season of aloneness in life for the first time since turning an adult. This process feels like a rebirth, a rediscovering and reconnecting with myself.
Life was good, on the surface, for me until I was forced out of my relationship (well, at least I felt “forced” at first). I was extremely uncomfortable when the relationship failed, but I had faith that the universe was trying to tell me to wake up, to figure out what I need instead of what I want. In the past, what I want was relying on another person to comfort me, validate me and applaud me out of my own feelings of insecurity. I didn’t know how to be there for myself, I need a “crutch for my soul” (that crutch could be a family member, a pet, a partner, a friend, a job…something from the outside). I realized I didn’t feel whole because I didn’t know to search inside, to look inward.
What I need is to be comfortable with myself alone, to love myself first, to spend more time with myself. So I spent already two years on my own (not even with any family members or friends like I used to). And it’s the longest time I’ve been alone, just to be around myself, talk to myself, listen to my own thoughts & felt my feelings, lots of them were negative but they got less & less. I can say I’m doing an okay job. I realized I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy (especially, to rush into one to fill the void in life). I become more aware of my energy level, my feelings and I become more focused internally than in the past, I want to feel good first before I connect to others to share positive energy. I learned to recognize my energy level & to preserve it if necessary. I practice gratitude frequently, to feel deserving of happiness, stability, security, abundance in my life (these are things I didn’t feel in the past because I was an anxious individual trying to please everyone in my life to earn love)
In this season, for the very first time, I have CONSCIOUSLY:
🌻 Took the first solo trip around one of the most beautiful islands in Vietnam
🌹 Wrote a self-love note and took myself out on a date for Valentine’s
🌷 Bought myself lots of flowers with tons of love
🌈 Walked along the beach as far as I liked, till I saw nothing else except waves and felt only the breeze
😄 Offered smile to strangers that later became my acquaintances and friends
⭐️ Settled into a brand-new city and expand my circle of friends
....more to come 🍀🍀🍀💙💙💙
And I can definitely say that life is getting BETTER once I started to love myself!
Again, many thanks to author @galenkp and Hive/WE community for giving me the opportunity to write and share this. When I started to write, I was sure I’d complete this piece some time, and NOW is the time 😊
Thanks for being here and reading my story!
It's so nice to read your post. I can feel you and understand what you have to say because I think we have something in common. I used to be the same as you. I rely on relationships or someone else to make them happy and then myself happy as well. I forgot to put myself first. I've met some people in the past couple of years, but they couldn't fill the hole inside me. It was then that I realized I needed to care for my feelings and love myself more. ❤️
Vietnamese women are taught to sacrifice for their children and care for their families. However, I will teach my daughter to love herself first. It's important to love and understand ourselves before we can love someone else
The self-love journey is about healing from past wounds, growing your self-confidence, and learning to care for yourself. I'm sure you reach it :) I sense the great energy, happiness, and positivity from your beautiful words !!!
I totally agree that both of you have a lot in common. @trangbaby
:) We're both beautiful 😂
I hope to meet with you both sometime in Da Nang, for coconut coffee maybe 😁
For sure, just let me know when you come to Danang.
Thank you @trangbaby :)
😍 for "The self-love journey is about healing from past wounds, growing your self-confidence, and learning to care for yourself". This is 100% my journey as well! We can all reach this goal together as more and more are practicing self-love and self-care! Let's spread more positivity around :)
@nguyenthaonguyen,
Hello!
First... thank you for participating in my #thoughtfuldailypost TAG! I do appreciate you choosing to post in my community, but would respectfully give you a few pointers, to help elevate your awesome!!
Google is NOT a reputable source for images. I always suggest the following websites, that will provide you with good images, and proper attribution:
If the photographs are yours, then let your readers know, by providing the details of your smartphone or camera! Simply adding the following to the end of your post, will provide you with taking ownership of your content, and also let your readers know you care!
All content is mine unless otherwise stated
I say these things, out of respect and love. I want everyone to succeed, and have a positive experience on the blockchain! Also, I would remind you to read the Rules, and Guidelines of my Community; I am not really picky, but do ask everyone to follow them!
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@wesphilbin(1/10) gave you LUV.
Thank you @wesphilbin for taking the time to remind me of the Community rules and tips on original content!!!!
I appreciate your reply and look forward to being more involved in thoughtfuldailypost movement!
That was a good post. In my opinion, everything has 2 sides, and everyone is different. What is good for one person may not be good for another. So everyone's life will be different. Let's live our own life without comparing it with others'. @nguyenthaonguyen
Yes, I completely agree with you Đô! Comparing with others' lives leads to suffering 🙃
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em ước mình cũng có thể sống 1 mình 2 năm trời hoặc 1 năm thôi để cảm nhận bản thân đang nghĩ gì
Ah hihi, ko cần ước đâu em, chị nghĩ 1 cách làm khá hay là em hãy dành cho mình từ từ ví dụ 1 buổi/tuần,1 ngày/tháng hoặc 1 tuần trong năm để ở 1 mình, ít connect với thế giới bên ngoài. Rất nhiều bạn/anh/chị có gia đình vẫn dành thời gian tách ra để cảm nhận, chiêm nghiệm, ở với chính mình và những suy nghĩ của bản thân, rồi viết và lập kế hoạch... Chị nghĩ như vậy là cân bằng cho mình rồi, ko nhất thiết phải đợi đến lúc phải bỏ hết quay về với mình toàn thời gian đâu 😄 💙
vâng ạ em cảm ơn chị