It's really complex because we can blame both the guy and the lady. The guy for not working on being a better person and being abusive. Like you said sir, a bit complicated because that guy's upbringing must have shaped who he is but still not an excuse for who he is to become, which is why I blamed him too. She has a part of the blame too because she accepted the love she thought she deserved. When we know better we must do better and she didn't do better. It's disheartening...such a beautiful life...
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Yeah, well said. Violence like this often comes from a lack of self esteem, the need to dominate and feel powerful usually due to their own life circumstances, upbringing and happenstance in their own past. Still, we have the ability to break the cycle right. Those guys chose not to.
And the girl? I felt very sad for her for a long time, and was there for her, but I can't be party to that sort of self-destructive behaviour, it's not good for me, and I was getting nowhere with her. I drifted away and left her to take her own journey. The same as many others in her life have done. I hear some terrible stories now, but that's her weight to carry.
I like what you did. You tried to help but the truth is you have to watch out for yourself before she drags you down with her. We can only help those who show interest in being helped. You have to do what's best for you and that is what I would have done also by letting her carve out her journey since I am not making any headway with her. I hope she doesn't self destruct beyond repair. Such a beautiful life going to waste. It's saddening.