Tomorrow is Finnish Independence holiday, so it is going to be a long weekend. To kick it off in the right way, I decided to host a small get-together of random people to join us for some glögi (Christmas fruit drink), and some good company. There were three family's of my daughter's friends present, though only one of the husbands could also join, and our neighbours. None knew much of others prior, but the conversation flowed well, and I think that people enjoyed themselves.
To get it started, I put together a spread of some sliced hams, olives, pickles, olive tapenade, hummus, cheeses, grapes and apple, fig jam and nuts and crackers. For dessert, my wife made an apple and raspberry pie and one of the guests brought an awesome cheesecake, which is pictured below also. Some chocolate and candy for the kids, and gingerbread and blue cheese for the adults.
And of course, wine.
Food was not the focus of the night, but sitting around the dining table as the kids played upstairs, conversation with strangers was easier when there was something to nibble on, and points of focus for discussion if it did get a little quiet. Which it didn't really, and I was surprised as normally there is a finish culture of these kinds of things being "2 hours" and then people start excusing themselves, but without even realizing it, it was closing in on ten pm and the kids whilst still playing, were quickly starting to wear.
They should sleep well tonight at least.
I have been with my wife for well over a decade now, and this is the first time we have done this kind of thing, because it isn't done in Finnish culture very often. Sure, when there are student parties at university there are a lot of randoms, but the culture here for gatherings at a house are pretty much limited to familiars. And, there are many people I know who don't "mix" familiars from different groups. Sometimes there are a few strangers thrown in here and there, but it isn't usually planned in any way.
I like these kinds of things though, but that might be because I am pretty good at getting along with strangers and having interesting conversations around a lot of different topics. This isn't because I know about the topics generally, but because I am willing to ask questions and listen to others talk about their interest areas. It really isn't hard, but a lot of people seem unwilling to put in the effort, unless they are interested or have something to gain from listening.
I am not an extravert.
But what I think drives my social sense, is that I don't want to be the kind of person that people have to look after, to ensure that I am coping. I have a few friends like that, where unless I spend the time with them, they just sit in the corner not really talking at all, nor having a good time. I don't think adults should need babysitting. But, there wasn't much of that needed tonight, as people just talked and even when my wife and I were not in the room at times, the chatter continued.
It was refreshing.
As we get older, our circle of friends tends to retract into who we are most familiar with. This is a good thing in many ways, as we can have a small group of reliable support who know us, and we can support them also. However, it can also mean that we end up being more siloed then we might want to be and I believe we miss out on a lot of richness, even if it is uncomfortable at times.
I am hoping that in the future, we will do something similar again like this, but also that now that we have done it, we can actually get a little closer to each of the groups by themselves too. I would like to spend more time with a local community of real people, with similar challenges to mine, but facing them in perhaps different ways than me. It gives a chance to learn and discuss why and how, like we did tonight around schooling for the kids, amongst other things.
These days, I think a lot of people, even in families, feel isolated. And I hope that while we might not have touched on many of the deeper topics tonight, everyone left our home feeling a bit better for having come, even if it was just because they had a full belly of okay food. Hopefully though, they got more out of it than that also, and are ready to start their long weekend in a better frame of mind than they would have otherwise.
I feel better for it.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Took me way too long staring at the overhead shot of the spread to remember that your house is multistorey x_x
Unless you have the social fallacy of thinking all your friends should get along with and be friends with each other because they are friends with and get along with you, sometimes you just know when certain "familiar" groups are probably better off not existing in the same space at the same time XD
Yay for nice gatherings :) I reckon if everyone had fun at this one they'll be looking forward to the next one as much as you are :D
My wife and I used to hold a new years party when we first got married and we would invite the friends from the two sides of our lives before. It would usually work out pretty well, but we kind of got out of the habit of doing it. Now some of those friends have moved away and some new ones that have replaced them don't get as long as well, so we kind of stopped doing all of that. It's actually interesting because I am the sort of person who likes to know who is going to be at an event so I know what I am walking into. I really need to double check and make sure I am not Finnish.
I think I am going to have to create a personality checklist of Finnish traits, so you can test yourself!
New Years might be too much pressure here, as people tend to expect more from the night. We try to spend it with small groups, but normally end up just us.
Would you consider organizing the events again?
Not in our current house, we just don't have the room for everyone. Maybe in he summer, but it seems like everyone always has their own stuff going on. At our old house we were able to have bonfires and stuff like that. It's actually more likely we would just try to organize a large camping trip where everyone shows up.
A camping trip would be great. A couple days just hanging out, grilling and having a beer :)
Yeah, that's what we have done in the past. Usually only about six of us, but I know some people have huge groups of friends they go with.
Interesting that this kind of thing is not Finnish culture. I would have thought it would be as it is very much Ukrainian and Russian culture thing...
It is a "thing" here, but not as much with randoms. They do it with close people only for the most part. I have a couple Russian friends here, and they have said about the difference also.
Such social activities with our relatives or neighbours are important for our social wellbeing. Unfortunately, they have been decreasing in recent years as many people prefer to be in their shell, this is what I have seen around me.
I feel the conditions have led to a culture of people not wanting to put in any effort for anyone other than themselves.
Perhaps I'll eat a pickled cucumber and a piece of cheese. Pass me that plate please :)
:)
It was a pretty good selection and I was actually a bit surprised how little there was left :)
Wish I was there to celebrate with you guys just to have a taste of those delicacies 😋
Welcome next time! :)
Yah yah
I wish I could have a taste of the glôgi.....the name sounds like it will taste well in the bud.
Having to organise such an event must have cost you to sacrifice a while lot of time and resources.
My brother-in-law is also proposing that we have a round table family talk during the coming Christmas to mend some of our stake relationship with relatives whom we have communed with a long time ago.
Let me not forget to wish all our Finnish friends a great celebration marking their independence tomorrow.
Life is too short to spend time arguing with family over nonsense.
Happy Independence Day to Finland.
Hosting guests at home is important in many ways. If they are satisfied in every way, it increases their reputation in people.
Children's mischief at home can spoil all the joy. Both for the guest and the host.
I don't think kids ruin the mood at all, but add to it. I like it when kids are kids - there were no screens on all night.
!BBH
It's nice to learn about different cultures from across the globe. Have a gret weekend. Soon we get more holidays 😀☺️☺️
Do you have any plans for time off?
Maybe in the last week before we touch next year