Looking back on my life, which is a few years, I can tell you that my childhood was quite frustrating to say the least, I had a father with a very strong character, my family consisted of my mother, my father, 8 siblings and me.
We lived in Caracas, the capital of Venezuela. My parents are from the East; 6 of my siblings were born in the East, specifically in the State of Sucre/Venezuela, the last three were born in Caracas.
My dad was always very demanding with my older siblings, I was only 6 years old when I didn't understand how to treat them and my mom (not me because I was the youngest, I guess), my siblings always commented that I was my dad's spoiled brat.
I grew up seeing the physical and verbal abuse of my father towards everyone at home. I studied and prepared myself always thinking of leaving quickly from that toxic environment for me, I cried to unburden myself of so many injustices in the bathroom while I bathed, since I could not even do it in the room because I shared it with my sisters.
The apartment where we lived had only three rooms, one for the boys (4), one for the girls (5) and the other for my parents, so I had no space where I could unburden myself when I could not stand it anymore. I saw how my father would hit my mother and my brothers for nothing, he would insult them if he thought something was wrong, full of anger he would throw objects in the air that many times would hit someone who was close to him.
I Studied alone until high school and as soon as I reached the age of majority (18 years old) I married a boy a year older than me, the courtship lasted only 7 months of which 3 were hidden for fear that my father would not give us his consent.
I left home and started a new life with my husband for 15 years, where two little princesses were born (my two daughters) I was really happy to be able to live in another environment away from my family, as the years went by I realized many things, the solution was not to get married so young, as I was not ready to start a family.
I was always on the defensive with my husband, I wanted to be right at all times and little by little that made our marriage fail.
You have to talk, talk, ask questions and face everything that generates anxiety and fears. Particularly I did not do it, I always kept all the resentment I felt for my father and now I realize (and not to justify it) that it was a matter of the time, most of the authority figure behaved that way, they did not establish agreements, what the head of the family said was sacred and everyone had to comply with their rules, however strong they were and without agreeing!!!
It hurts me a lot to feel this feeling of resentment towards my father, who always considered me his favorite daughter and never hurt me. He passed away 7 years ago and I ask God for forgiveness every day of my life for feeling this feeling towards him.
I understand now that my failure in my marriage was due to the immaturity I had when I decided to marry the first person that I had the illusion of getting out of that hostile environment where I lived. Understanding all this, I continued my higher education and prepared myself to raise my 2 daughters as best as possible.
With this short but concise summary, I would like to offer my reader friends some advice so that they can be prepared for a happier life.
Never act under impulse or pressure.
First observe very well any situation around you that generates emotional instability and then act.
Talk to people who can give you advice before taking any important action or decision (communication is essential).
Do not keep in our heart any grudge, that hurts us enormously, we must share it and seek professional help.
Generate as much as possible a calm, pleasant and loving environment in our homes.
Not to make the same mistakes that our parents made (if we are adults).
I hope I can contribute a little with these little tips from my personal experience.
Through my long years in this journey called life, I learned that everything has its moment, that every stage we live (good or bad) leaves us a learning, which we must value and evaluate very well what did not make us well to change it and improve it.
We are in this world to be happy!!!! A big hug...
This is my entry of week 99 (WE) from its creator @galenkp.
The image edits were made in Canva.
I used Deelp translator.
Que hermosas palabras, tu siempre siendo ejemplo en palabras y en hechos. Te valoro, te aprecio y te quiero infinito simplemente por el hecho de ser siempre clara, valiente y ser una mujer que no se frena por nada. Aceptar nuestros errores es parte de aprender que todo tiene un por qué que, que de eso debemos aprender a valorar y respetar nuestro pasado. Para así tener un futuro mas claro y feliz.
Traducción:
What beautiful words, you always being an example in words and deeds. I value, appreciate and love you infinitely simply for the fact that you are always clear, brave and a woman who does not stop for anything. Accepting our mistakes is part of learning that everything has a why, that we must learn to value and respect our past. In order to have a clearer and happier future.
Good afternoon dear friend @daimar07 that's right, in this world we have to be as you say "brave" to face all the circumstances of life, especially when we have children. Our mistakes teach us, that's why we have to get up and continue! Thank you for your comment, a hug!☺😘🤗🙏
I love these tips, they are wonderful. I have been trying to incorporate some of these into my own life too, number 6 I've been working on for many years.
Thanks for sharing these and your own personal experiences. I understand that it is difficult experiencing resentment towards a parent especially if they have passed away and we all need to work through the grieving process which can actually take years.
Be gentle with yourself and keep working through these, sending hugs
Thanks for your comment @andrastia . Yes we really can't make the same mistakes of our parents, no doubt it was another time! It's very unpleasant to carry that feeling of resentment inside, only one knows what it feels like; but with time and God's help everything heals. Happy and successful Sunday 😊🙏😣💖
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I love your six tips Tibisay, although in life it is not always easy to follow them!
Hi friend @tengolotodo thanks for commenting. I agree with you, it is not easy to follow those tips but you have to make an effort not to live what I am still living; and I say it even with shame since my father passed away. But I am working on it. Have a great start to the week! 😊🙏💕
Oh I think you are doing it all perfectly. Yes I know when you mean I was the same when both my parents passed away. Thank you and wishing you a great start to the week too:)
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