Many times I have had my heart broken and I have also broken some hearts, not that I want to go around hurting hearts but sometimes it happens unintentionally, or it just happens....
From the story I am going to share I am not sure if the heart aggressor did it with premeditation, what I am sure is that this did not go unpunished. I feel some satisfaction and curiosity for this case that is still valid although it has lost value for me.
With this person I had more of a virtual relationship than a real one, it was more or less 2 years of feeling a great connection and being in communication. We also had real encounters, few, but very intense, passionate and great.
I wanted something formal and stable with this person and she fooled me into thinking that she also wanted it and when my feelings were very committed she was taking distance and being very indifferent. Sometimes we would move away from each other for a few weeks but I would go back to look for her and we kept in a kind of vicious circle.
During that time she suddenly told me that she had moved alone, something that left me very sad because at certain moments we talked about the possibility of living together or her moving to Caracas, which is where I live, she lives in another city a few meters away. . 3 hours, so when I found out that she paid rent to live alone far from me, that she didn't even tell me about her plans and to finish raising awareness that she always haved time and money for other things except to be with me, at that moment I decided to distance myself but I didn't complain or say anything to him, after all we didn't have a formal relationship, I moved away quietly or subtly, as I titled in a post.
For a reason that I do not remember exactly, a few days after writing that post I shared it with her and after reading it she asked me ironically if I expected her to ask me to live together, she told me that at first she thought she wanted that but finally she was convinced that she was not interested in me and that she only wanted sex from me.
After those words and everything we had lived through and everything we said to each other in the good times, I just replied that I didn't expect anything from her, that I didn't even bother her, something that was true since at that point I didn't initiate any of our sporadic conversations. I made it clear to her that if she only cared about sex she should only write me when it could be real, not virtual, and that if we both agreed then go ahead, but please don't write me to ask me how I am, or how my family is, or how my cat is.
So, I did not write her anymore, I deleted her from my contacts so she could not see my movements on WhatsApp which was the means by which we communicated, I did not block it I just deleted her, that is to say that if she had decided to write me I would have received the message.
Just as I deleted her from my WhatsApp I deleted her from my life, although I learned her number by heart and to this day I remember it, I never initiated a conversation with her again. And by the way, what a trick my memory plays on me, many times I find it hard to remember if I left the stove off when I left home but that blessed number I have not forgotten it in so long, well at least it is only information that was anchored in my mind and that I never used against me.
Something happened that I never imagined and that I would have thought impossible: a couple of months ago he wrote me on Telegram, it's been more than 2 years since he told me what he told me and he comes and writes me as if nothing and he still has the will to ask me why I didn't write her more....
I happened to take my time to answer, a few hours nothing more, I was surprised but that didn't take my sleep away, I didn't see it as something amazing either, as I try to train my mind to stay calm most of the time, many times I don't make it, other times I do.
I responded as if nothing, normal, she tried to make the deal like in our good times but she found a kind but very cold person with her. I didn't complain to her.
For a moment I thought about simply ignoring her and blocking her this time but to tell the truth she is a person with whom I like to talk. I was somewhat amused that she wanted to allude to a past event and I replied that I did not remember anything, she told me that she did not believe me, I insisted that I did not remember because some aliens had kidnapped me and had erased much of my memory and she believed it, she even began to send me news of alleged abductions.
She insisted that she had believed that and I just laughed. Now she writes me quite often, I take my time to respond, sometimes I even forget and she comes back later as if she was not ignored. The truth is I'm not getting revenge, I'm just acting from feeling, I guess she did it too at the time.
Time goes by and transforms everything in its path, nothing is written, I have my reasons to be very indulgent with her, besides I am not the one to judge others. I don't want her for what I wanted her for before, but she is pleasant to me.
this weekend.This writing is inspired by @galenkp's proposal for
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