I was known to be the quietest girl among my classmates. However, out of all the guys in my class, there was this new guy I was really attracted to; he was cute, intelligent and quiet as I was.
One day, we had lecture free day, myself, my best friend and her friends decided that we played the TRUTH and DARE game. So when it was my turn, I chose truth and the question that was thrown at me was: “who do I love among all the guys in our class?” As I was about to spill the answer, my girlfriend winked at me and stylishly told me not to mention the guy’s name.
After the game, I met my best friend and asked her why she stylishly told me not to mention the guy’s name and her reply was that, if I had spilled it out, I would make the guy’s head swell and that spilling it out would reduce my steeze and composure.
Since, I couldn’t confess my feelings I decided to give him green lights to let him know that I liked him. For instance, by helping him to copy his notes; also, most of the mathematics problems that our lesson teacher asked me to solve, I pretended not to know the answers, that is to say that I intentionally failed the questions so that the guy would answer them and feel that he has beaten a genius like me.
As intelligent as this guy was, he was so dump to notice all the green lights. I kept trying other means to get him to notice the chemistry I had for him by asking him questions about himself, his parents and siblings, I was just being overly concerned- such that someone seeing me for the first time would think that I was a talkative. In short, I thought I was making progress when he started being more friendly to me.
But my hope was dashed when my best friend who knew how I felt towards this guy, told me that he had a crush on someone else. I did not believe her until I witnessed with my eyes and observed how the guy was making moves to woo a certain girl in the class. He did things, with the girl that he did not do with me or any other girl; he held her hands when they talked, he took her to the canteen and paid for the bills, he smiled sheepishly when she made dry jokes in class and he looked at her with love eyes (I really do not know how to explain this one, but I’m sure you do understand). In my mind, I was like what does this girl have that I do not have!
As if that was not enough, I stumbled on their love book in class when the entire class was outside participating in one game or the other. At that point, I couldn’t hold back my tears, my girlfriend who was always by my side like my handbag, gave me her shoulder to lean on.
I thought to myself, “Would things have worked out between us if I had been verbal about my feelings for him?” OR “would I have cried premium tears after confessing my love after hear him say to me that he has someone he loves and just sees me as a classmates?’’
Which one would have been better, but then, how would I know when I did not even try?
It was a difficult time for me. But then, my best friend who knew me best spoke comforting words to me, she pointed out the guys flaws to me which I did not see because love blinded my eyes.
Most importantly, she made a statement and said “this relationship you really desire with this guy is just going to end at the school gate”. Those words of hers really dawned on me, she made me understand that those feelings were normal as a teenage girl that I was but that I should not be controlled by them. More so, the feelings I had for the guy faded away after we graduated from the school because we no longer saw each other and I never had a phone, talk less of getting his contact.
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