The buildup in this piece is amazing. From the first sentence:
The doorbell rang at 6:30AM.
Immediately we are, literally, in the moment.
Then the rain, a unifying visual, a fade-in transition.
A bit of foreshadowing (disaster is pending)
we’re on our way despite the awful fog
and
Nasty day
At least you didn't have the bus crash :)) I feared that. But what she saw was almost as catastrophic, and to have it witnessed by everyone....
A carefully plotted, unified story, @itsostylish.
And. at the end, forgiveness.
A wonderful piece, @itsostylish ⭐️
Thank you @agmoore 😁 However, I think I was too hasty in posting this and didn’t think it through as carefully as I usually do 😕
I have never written a story that was 'finished'. I could tinker till the cows come home', but this story works. Its most outstanding feature is its attention to detail. Amazing.
The story had particular significance for me, I think, because it reminded me of an incident from my childhood. Something one never forgets and you capture that sense of catastrophe here.
You're a great writer :)
This was my comment (below) that I posted as Inkwell!
I will add, as myself, that I found your character very believable and likable.
*I have never written a story that was 'finished'. I could tinker till the cows come home', but this story works. Its most outstanding feature is its attention to detail. Amazing.
The story had particular significance for me, I think, because it reminded me of an incident from my childhood. Something one never forgets and you capture that sense of catastrophe here.
You're a great writer :)*