Hello @perfect20,
This story is very nicely told. You show good attention to detail, which helps to place us on the scene as we read. Your piece also has a good arc. The story is well constructed.
A few helpful suggestions, though:
- You probably meant to say 'fateful' rather than 'faithful' in the first paragraph. This is a common error, but the words do not have similar definitions.
- You use 'clinged' as a past tense for cling. The proper simple past tense is 'clung'.
- You speak of a 'thug', when you likely mean 'tug'. The simple misspelling changes the meaning of the word completely.
These are just a few of the minor errors I picked up as I read. The piece is still good, worthy. Just, in the future you might keep these tips in mind.
Keep writing :)
Thanks for your observations. I'll work on that
⭐️⭐️