ENG:
There she was, beautiful, solemn, perpetual. Her beautiful figure rested quietly on the table of the bar where we had arranged our date. It was perhaps the second or third time I saw her from afar, trying to get close to her, but I didn't dare to even breathe when I was around her.
But one day I got up the courage and decided to talk to her to buy her a drink. The best, or worst, decision of my life. I'll never know.
I walked with an unsteady gait, fighting the trembling of my knees and the sweat behind my neck. I crossed the street and suddenly I froze, my body no longer responding to me. Even though it was cool that night, I felt the heat coursing through my body. At that moment I could do nothing but watch my beautiful date from a distance and appreciate how the moon and the dim lights of the bar sweetly illuminated her face and exalted her silhouette wrapped in a black dress.
The latter gave me the courage I needed, so I resumed my walk, this time with a firm step. I sat down in front of her and, in a voice more confident than I imagined, I said:
-Hello, thank you for accepting my invitation.
I was disappointed and worried after my comment. Was I bold, daring? Maybe I scared her by arriving unexpectedly? It's possible, because her expression of stupefaction was evident. Actually, it resembled fright. I looked at her for a couple of seconds longer, still, she was still beautiful.
-Excuse me, skinny.... -I dared to add mischievously, when I saw that it did not produce the expected response, I quickly added: -...Cata. I didn't mean to scare you.
After a second that seemed eternal, he finally looked at me, with dark colored eyes that invited me to sail forever in them. He got up from his chair, took me by the hand and in a sweet voice said to me:
-I was waiting for you.
The girl in black was sobbing and screaming hysterically as blue and red lights flooded the place.
-It can't be! What happened to her? -she asked the officer.
-He was hit by a car while crossing the street. He died.
ESP:
Allí estaba ella, hermosa, solemne, perpetua. Su hermosa figura reposaba tranquilamente sobre a la mesa del bar donde habíamos pautado nuestra cita. Era tal vez la segunda vez o tercera vez que la veía de lejos, intentando acercarme a ella, pero no me atrevía a siquiera a respirar estando a su alrededor.
Pero un día me animé y decidí hablarle para invitarle un trago. La mejor, o peor, decisión de mi vida. Nunca lo sabré.
Caminé con paso inseguro, luchando contra el temblor de mis rodillas y el sudor tras mi cuello. Crucé la calle y de pronto me paralicé, mi cuerpo no me respondió más. Pese a que esa noche era fresca, sentía el calor recorriendo todo mi cuerpo. En ese momento no pude hacer más que observar a mi bella cita desde la distancia y apreciar cómo la luna y las tenues luces del bar iluminaban dulcemente su rostro y exaltaban su silueta envuelta en un vestido negro.
Esto último me hizo tomar el valor que me hacía falta, así que retomé mi andar, esta vez con paso firme. Me senté frente a ella y, con voz más segura de lo que imaginé, dije:
-Hola, gracias por aceptar mi invitación.
Me decepcioné y preocupé tras mi comentario. ¿Fui osado, atrevido? ¿Quizá la asusté al llegar de improvisto? Es posible, porque su expresión de estupefacción era evidente. En realidad, se parecía al espanto. La miré un par de segundos más, aún así, no dejaba de ser hermosa.
-Discúlpame, flaca... -Me atreví a añadir con picardía, al ver que no surtió la respuesta esperada, agregué rápidamente: -…Cata. No fue mi intención asustarte.
Tras un segundo que me pareció eterno, finalmente me miró, con unos ojos de color oscuro que me invitaban a navegar por siempre en ellos. Se levantó de su silla, me tomó de la mano y con voz dulce me dijo:
-Te estaba esperando.
La chica de negro sollozaba y gritaba histérica mientras las luces azules y rojas inundaban el sitio.
-¡No puede ser! ¿Qué le pasó? -preguntó al oficial.
-Lo arrolló un carro mientras cruzaba la calle. Murió.
Interesting story, the narrative was exciting from beginning to end, and the ending was shocking. There were expressions during the development that gave hints of the end of the story, and it was striking and interesting.
However, I noticed in your publication important details that you can still edit or take into account for the next one, for example you followed the suggestions of the friends of The Ink Well, regarding languages, when writing in two languages it is advisable to use the same resources in both readings, whether separators, spelling resources and images, in your case, the image you used is observed at the end of the whole publication, if your desire was to place it at the end of the reading, it would have been great to do it at the end of both languages, although it seems repeated, visually enriches the story, and keep in mind that who reads English will stop to observe the other language, in particular I, instead of the separator would have placed the image, by the turn that gives the story after this paragraph by :
And something important in the images is to cite the source of that image, even if it is your own image, identify it as yours.
Another detail is the use of tags, even in the rules of this community suggest several, which may be useful.
Surely the friends of The Ink Well will be able to give you more suggestions, success in your next stories.
Muchas gracias por tus sugerencias. Las tendré en cuenta.
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