In my culture women are not often allowed to attend higher institutions because they believe that whatever course a woman studies during high school will be worthless because she's going to end up in her husband's house where she will be busy having children and taking care of her family.
My humble self
My father adopted the same mentality, and this affected me, after secondary school, my father said there was no need for further education, the next thing was to arrange for a wealthy man who owned a lot of farmland and palm fruits because then any man who had enough farmland will take good care of his wife.
It became a serious challenge for me. I didn't know how to get out of it, it got to the point that my father was telling people that she had a daughter who was out for marriage, and this made me feel so ashamed of myself.
One morning I decided to talk to my parents, hoping my father would have a change of heart.
I called him "Dady" "Yes Adaku what ist?" He answered.
I asked him "How do you feel when you see children come to visit their parents from the city?" My father replied "What do you mean? If why you are asking me this is to get an excuse not to marry Chief Ozondu it will not work"
I was surprised because I had just heard about Chief Ozondu for the first time, I asked him, "Please, who is Chief Ozondu?" "You will know him tomorrow morning" he replied.
I went inside and cried all night, I was asked why my father doesn't care about what would make me happy, and I couldn't sleep all through the night.
As early as 7:am, Chief Ozondu and his family arrived at our compound, my father gave them kola and drink as custom demands, and after a few minutes of discussion, I was called out by my father.
I came out with a gloomy face, my father said "Why is your face like this, well this is Chief Ozondu He came to seek your hand in marriage and that's why I called you out"
I asked Chief Ozondu "With all due respect, do you know me?" He said "No but your father said you are a very responsible and respected girl"
"Just that and you came to seek my hand in marriage"
I replied while thinking of the next say.
Chief Ozondu now asked my father "Why the rude response from her? Was she not informed?"
My father said "Dont mind her, she wants to go to school, but she doesn't understand culture and traditions"
"Oh my darling, do you know what you will have achieved before the people that went to school graduates? You would have gotten children of your own, so much farmland and palm fruit plantation," Chief Ozondu spoke while looking at me. I was so upset that I ran to my room and started crying again.
Three years passed after my West African examination I was still doing nothing, my father brought over four suitors for me and I rejected them all, one day he said "Since you don't want to listen to your father my hands are off, am not ready to waste my money in training a female child who will end up in her husband's kitchen"
"Dady even if it's so it won't be this kind of husband that you are bringing for me, it will be a man in the city" I replied
My Dad walked away without saying anything, at this point, I had almost given up hope for further education.
In all this, my mother never said a word and I was still wondering why, whenever the situation became so tense she would only tell me "Sorry everything will be alright"
Little did I know that she was planning something huge for me, she understood the point am making so she didn't want to make it a point of argument my mom was saving for my school fees and entrance fee
My humble self
One night in October 2007, my mom called for a family meeting, I didn't know why, but I knew it was going to be for something very important.
By 8:pm we all gathered in the sitting room and were waiting for my mom to say why she summoned us.
"Adaku, i called this meeting because of you," Mom said.
My mind skipped, and I replied, "Mama, please, what did I do?"
"You didn't do anything; I just want you to tell the family the reason why you have rejected all suitors your father arranged for you," Mom replied.
"Mama, I want to have something to do before starting a married life, and besides, I don't want to marry all these village farmers. I have been farming all my life. I want marriage to bring changes in my life," i replied.
My father started screaming "You want to stay in my house and grow old, it will not work, am sending you out of my house soon"
My mom now stepped in and said, "Nnaya (our father), what if I sponsor her education? So she would achieve her goals since she wants to get a profession before marriage, I don't think that is a bad idea"
My heart leaped with Joy but still I needed My father's approval.
After hours of argument, my father approved my mother to sponsor my education, I never knew my mom had gone as far as getting the school address and other necessary information.
She just said "Tomorrow morning, get dressed, I will enroll you in a nursing school"
I couldn't wait till the morning of the morning; as early as 5:30 am, I woke up and got myself ready.
We left home, and the next thing I saw myself in a school environment, my mom did all the necessary things, and I started schooling.
The Joy my mom brought to my heart on that day I can't forget so soon because, to me, all hope was lost.
Note images are mine
You can imagine how life could have been with you now if you had married without having something doing especially in this economy, tho farmers are rich but you might have grown too old.
Determination has its way of helping you out.
Hahahahah by now I would have been like an 80yrs old woman.
I love your determination and courage. At the end you were able to achieve your goal. Kudos to your mom for making your dream comes true.
I don't joke with my mom because she made me achieve my goal
Wow, what a brilliant move. This is no less than a achievement. Congratulations!
Thank you so much, it was a great one
Lovely story. Tells a lot about determination.
Exactly
Congratulations to you.
Your mom is your hero, she saver you big time.
And nursing is a good profession.
It's so heartwarming to have mothers who fought for the future of their children. Mothers are priceless.
Your life was going to be destined to be a wife and have children, you broke with that paradigm and sought your own destiny, that was very commendable.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Excellent Saturday.