Not my strong suit

"Ese, please ensure you send the various operational documents to Seyifa and prepare the payroll for the field workers. I need it before the end of the workday." This was the WhatsApp message from my manager that I saw on my office WhatsApp platform upon coming online. It left me feeling confused about my job role because I have never been part of payroll plus, I had only received one operational document from Seyifa, my colleague in charge of work operations. As the document controller, it is primarily Seyifa's responsibility to send these documents to me while keeping his copies. So, I questioned myself, "Why was I being asked to send Seyifa back documents that he should already have?"

Well, I reached out to my manager for clarification, informing her that I do not have the required information to prepare a payroll plus, I currently have just one operational document from Seyifa. Not only that but I also questioned politely; "between Seyifa and I, whose duty was it to send documents to the other?" While I initially felt justified in my inquiry, I later acknowledged that as the document controller, I must ensure that all documents are readily available and accessible. Having realised this part of my job, I deleted the inquiry I had sent and placed a call to Seyifa to clarify what he needed. Just as I was about to dial him, I received a notification for another WhatsApp message from my manager which popped up on my screen. I opened it and saw her instructions again: "Ese, your role as the document controller is to follow up with other staff and ensure all work documents are up to date. You must be proactive and interact professionally." I read her message multiple times, and I felt frustration creep in. I mean, in all that I do, I put in my best effort. Thus, it was disheartening to be addressed as if I wasn't doing well enough.

Regardless of how I felt, I resolved to do more. So I dialed Seyifa to discuss the operational documents. I also texted my manager requesting the details required for the payroll. While Seyifa didn't respond, my manager did and she directed me to check the mail Seyifa had sent to me and get back to her. I Checked my email and found Seyifa's message, but I didn’t see the specific information my manager asked me to confirm. So, I called Seyifa again to clarify whether he needed a copy of the operational documents he had sent me. He sighed and replied, "My dear, I'm just as confused as you are with that WhatsApp message because there is no available task that warrants those documents." At that moment, it became clear that we were both trying to make sense of my manager’s unclear expectations.

So I shifted the conversation to the major reason for my call—guidance on the field workers' information on his end. He explained that the Excel sheet he sent was two merged in one, with the required data in sheet two. I reviewed the Excel sheet and confirmed what he said, I did find some information, but the data was incomplete. A discovery I brought to Seyifa's notice and asked him for the complete data. He refered me back to our manager, hinting that she was better positioned to provide the complete set of information that I need. Immediately, I felt a surge of anger because the constant back-and-forth was becoming irritating. At that instance, I tried to keep my emotions under control so as to maintain professionalism with my manager. As soon as I felt calm, I informed her via text that the information from Seyifa was incomplete and that I could not carry out her instructions without any further details. I also clarified and let her know that Seyifa was just as uncertain as I was and asked for her guidance so we could proceed effectively.

I awaited my manager’s response while attending to my day, which was full of chores since it was Saturday. Later, I checked my messages and saw that my manager had read my text but didn’t respond. I waited the entire day and received no reply. As the following week started—just like every other task she assigned without providing the necessary information—this one faded into oblivion, with her never bringing it up again. I felt a sense of relief, as this saved me the stress of additional work.

But I couldn't stop thinking about my manager's lapses. I don't know if I should call it that, but she has this habit of not properly assigning tasks, and sometimes, when you least expect it, she puts you under pressure to underperform. Again, there's my director, who always complains about the poor workflow and how tasks are not properly assigned. Then there's me, laying back on my duties and not following up with my manager like I used to in my previous employments.

You know, it recently dawned on me that one stands a better chance of being employed for doing nothing than for actually doing their job. In my previous employment, we were always experiencing delays in fund disbursement for products. I thought I was being proactive when I started using my own funds to send out products and apply for reimbursement. In a short while, my supervisor accused me of stealing from the company, and when I cleared my name, it turned out he was setting me up for termination, which led to my resignation. But I did learn my lesson, and in another employment, I wasn't putting in much effort into my job. In fact, it was almost as if I was being paid for doing nothing. But up until my resignation, I had no fallout with any of my superiors.

I am pretty sure that the reason my manager and I get along so well is that I'm not breathing down her neck when it comes to the job, and I'd like to keep it that way.

In fact, I have since resolved that unless I'm on top, being proactive will not be my strong suit.